The incident happened many years ago when I was abroad.

I was on one side of the door and opened it. There were a lady and a male colleague on the other side. As I opened the door and walked past, I got some snide peculiar looks from the two. I realized that I had done something wrong - I should have allowed the other two to pass or said at least, "Excuse me, please".

I have since then tried to imbibe these manners unto myself but it is not something that comes naturally to me. If I may speak for us Indians, I can safely state that Indians do not have these courtesy or manners:

• Saying "Thank you". As you walk-in in a plush restaurant, the doorman opens the door for you. How often do we say, "Thank you"? We think that it is his job and thanking him is too low - it does not become us.
• Allowing a lady to pass first
• Opening the door for a lady
• Standing on the side of the lift/elevator and allow people in, to get out first.
• If you see that there are people ahead of you to get something done, say photo copying, wait till the persons ahead of you to finish.
• If two people are talking between themselves, and you wish to talk to one or both of them, start with "Excuse me".
• And something plain crude and simple - at the cafeteria, after you finish your meal, gently push back the chair to the table?

The problem is that these so called "manners and curtsey" are completely phoren to us. It is simply not part of our culture.

I was once having a discussion on Indian and Western culture and my English friend pointed out many other issues that they find rude:

• Talking to "Indian" when in a group
• Congregating together at the coffee machine.
• Staying within the coterie. My English friend went ahead and called this as a "syndicate".

I was at a loss to justify anything. I did try to (weakly) explain that going to the coffee together is nothing ulterior - just that two or three people liked to take a break and talk about other things especially from home. I did agree, however, that it was a bad practice to loiter around the machine - we should be stepping back and going to the common area/cafeteria to chat.

I also counter argued on Indian philosophy and culture. I told my English friend that we did need to improve on better mannerisms but we also have certain traits that the Western world needs to learn from. For example:

• We do not continue to live with our parents when we grow up - we stay with them to take care of our parents during their old age.
• We respect elders by touching their feet every time we meet.
• We take great interest in the development of our children in their academics - that is why Indian students fare better
• etc.

That said, there was some redemption but overall the score was 5-1 against me.