Thread: Ambitions

What would you do if you couldn't see yourself fulfilling your dreams and ambitions in life! I only see this happening if i get married, but when i see this i feel really bad about myself and my life.

What would you do if this happened to you, and you wanted to do something in life, but knew you couldn't?

I don't understand why do you think that marriage is an end of life! Who knows, what god is saving for you, you might get a husband who supports you in achieving every of your dream, who helps you in getting what you want. Don't take marriage in a negative form, else it will be very difficult for you and your family to get out of this situation. I have felt that you always run away from getting married, don't know why, might be you are telling this from some of your close friends experience, if so princess, then this is not a way to look at life. Think about it.

P.S: I don't have good writing skills to express my words. Hope you are getting what I am trying to say. At the end of the day, its your decision.

For girls who like to make a career, there is always a mortal fear that after marriage that is the end of the road. And can't say that I blame them. The husband wants to put the word "his" in front of everything - his career, his ambition, his mother, his kids-to-be, his family, his house, etc.

But this may not always be the case. Before marriage there should be complete understanding of ambitions and aspirations. If things are understood then there may not be unhappy sacrifices.

i think in modern day life....... now a days... all couples are becoming more independent and think individually giving enough space to each other...rather than imposing " HIS " or "HER" thing.. they think n take decision which suits "their" life rather than "his" or "her" life.. tht is the smarter way i feel..

What makes you think like that Preeti, i can not see any valid point in saying that as i have seen in my family. My mom is working in central govt. from last 27 years and she was never asked to leave job or anything. My sister is working from last 6 years and even after marriage she went to US for work purpose. I consider your point but would like to say that if it is happening then also its on a very small scale which can be ruled out by just some simple efforts and guidance.

Sorry but i don't think marriage is the end of carrer or ambitions.

just make sure to select a husband who comes from a neuclear family and has seen his mother go to work from his birth. his mind would be automatically conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions.
of course, he may be a little too practical minded to play the lovey dovey all romantic husband, but if you are putting your ambition in first priority, don't think you would really mind that.

Originally Posted by panchabhut

just make sure to select a husband who comes from a neuclear family and has seen his mother go to work from his birth. his mind would be automatically conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions.
of course, he may be a little too practical minded to play the lovey dovey all romantic husband, but if you are putting your ambition in first priority, don't think you would really mind that.

well, my mother didn't work after I was born, but still my mind is
"conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions"


plus I am "lovey dovey all romantic"



-F

Originally Posted by farce

"conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions"

"CONDITIONED" by whom?

plus I am "lovey dovey all romantic"

you are not the best judge for that. must attach a testiminial from your wife as proof

Originally Posted by panchabhut

"CONDITIONED" by whom?



you are not the best judge for that. must attach a testiminial from your wife as proof

I didn't say "lovey dovey romantic husband" did you notice?

-F

don't worry, your wife would notice that even faster

. I am kidding of course. In case Mrs. Farce happens to read this.
I love my wife...

-F

that is a politically correct answer.
not part of the game

I am a traditional guy, but after i saw Ma as a teacher(she did this job after she became 36/38 years), and Papa supported her. My elder brother keeps on saying that he wants a good earning girl, cause its not easy to live in an expensive place like BNGLR.

so now my perception is completely changed..

p.s i still wanna earn so much that, my wife doesnt have to earn out...
( i am not changed)

my mother always earned more than my father. and he was very proud of it. today it may not be a big thing, but in those days (they are both above 70 now) it was.
today thanks to their training and guidence, I earn enough to support all the needs of my family, but my wife still works, because its her choice.
in fact I have to also give her subsidy for the car and the driver so that she can go to work in comfort.

^^lol...
what your age if you dont feel bad???

^^lol...
what your age if you dont feel bad???

Originally Posted by mail2sc

^^lol...
what your age if you dont feel bad???

^^lol...
what your age if you dont feel bad???

are you asking me? There is going to be a poll in the off-topic section soon



-F

if it is Panchabut he is 35 ;-). Here's his photo



and in a few years he'll be like this.

If u r asking me, I'm more than 10 yrs younger than J4K

Originally Posted by farce

are you asking me? There is going to be a poll in the off-topic section soon



-F

if it is Panchabut he is 35 ;-)

no no pls tell me

Originally Posted by panchabhut

just make sure to select a husband who comes from a neuclear family and has seen his mother go to work from his birth. his mind would be automatically conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions.
of course, he may be a little too practical minded to play the lovey dovey all romantic husband, but if you are putting your ambition in first priority, don't think you would really mind that.

Originally Posted by farce

well, my mother didn't work after I was born, but still my mind is
"conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions"

Very good point by panchbuth, but as you can see Farce's reply, its clear that its all depends on your mutual understanding. So don't worry, but yes, i would suggest you should give some time to your relationship before getting married so that you get enough time to know each others likes/dislikes, you will get to know his dreams and vice versa, you can check out his intrest in your ambitions, your future plans etc. I think this will give you a more clear picture.

Originally Posted by farce

"conditioned to accept that women are equal partners in marriage and also have equal ambitions"

plus I am "lovey dovey all romantic"

-F

you have good views farce and many of the other people who posted in this thread, but what if things change after the marriage and one is unable to continue with her career, how can you be so certain!

Originally Posted by farce

I love my wife...

-F

that's very sweet farce, saying you love your wife in public, not many people would love to admit that or say it!

Yes, nothing is certain, but we have to take a certain amount of
risk based on our life experiences and perception.

thanks ;-)

-F

Again there is no certainty of this, like always, we can say marriage is a gamble and everything that comes with it!
Although the husband may say its ok to carry on with your career or fulfill any wishes, the in laws may reject!

Well what i can do is do everything i want to before marriage, least that will satisfy me....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage is not that bad Preeti,

the first few years might be miserable
but after that

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you'll get used to the misery

-F


just kidding.....

Thats real good advice farce :lol:

Hey preeti why are you so tensed about marriage yar ?

What every happens, happens because it couldnt have happened in any other way

@ Farce - thanks made me feel real good! So your saying your miserable now!

@ Kiran - Yeh i suppose whatever is going to happen its going to happen in one way of the other!

You got to give me credit for considering it!!!!