Mother in law jokes..

Some Mother-in-law jokes that i collected.. add yours too..

enjoy!!!

1. A boy asks his father, "Pa, why grandma is running in the vegetable garden in zigzags?"

"It's for you that she is grandma. For me she's mother-in-law. Now keep quiet and let me take a better aim."

2. A man walked in the street and encountered a funeral procession. Right after the hearse, a black goat was walking, and after the goat a long line of mourners.

"Whose funeral is it?" the man asked.

A man in black said, "My mother-in-law."

"And how did she die?"

"This goat has butted her to death."

"Hey, lend me your goat just for one day, won't you?"

"Don't you see how long is the line for this goat?"

3. A Georgian quarreled with his mother-in-law. Finally he grabbed her and dragged her to a balcony. Before pushing her over the railing, he shouted to a neighbor on the left, "Kvikidze, what have you done to your mother-in-law?"

"I stabbed her to death."

Then he shouted to the neighbor on the right, "Asladze, what have you done to your mother-in-law?"

"I drowned her."

"You see?" he said to his mother-in-law. "And I let you go!"

Nice ones. Ha! Ha!

another from the stable, but not on mother-in-law


A British envoy presented the Empress with a gift, a telescope. She liked it very much. The courtiers, to please the Empress, all rushed to point the telescope to the sky and reported what they saw. They maintained they saw mountains on the moon. Count Lvoff wanted to overdo everybody else and said, "I see not only mountains, but also a forest!"

"You made me curious," the Empress said, moving to stand up from her chair. "Let me take a look."

"Your Majesty, I am sorry, " Lvoff said. "They have already started cutting the trees, so you will be late."