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cricket sledging caught on microphone

  1. #1
    Bronze Member danny86's Avatar
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    Thumbs up cricket sledging caught on microphone

    Top Cricket Sledges

    Rod Marsh & Ian Botham
    When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words "So how's your wife and my kids?" The reply from Botham was "My wife's fine, your kids are retarded".

    Daryl Cullinan & Shane Warne
    As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

    Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes)
    "Hey Eddo, why are you so f**king fat?" Eddo Brandes "Because every time I f**k your mother, she throws me a biscuit."

    Robin Smith & Merv Hughes
    During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played and missed "You can't f**king bat." Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat and you can't f**king bowl.

    Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad
    During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

    Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
    During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman "In my culture we just say f**k off."

    Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
    And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!"

    James Ormond & Mark Waugh
    Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh. Mark Waugh "F**k me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England." James Ormond "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

    Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan
    McGrath to Sarwan "So what does Brian Lara's d**k taste like?" Sarwan "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it) "If you ever f**king mention my wife again, I'll f**king rip your f**king throat out!"

    Mark Waugh & Adam Parore
    Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the crease playing and missing the first ball. Mark "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were s**t then, you're f**king useless now." Parore (turning around) "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly s**t. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb c**t!"

    Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
    Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

    Malcolm Marshall & David Boon
    Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

    Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row
    Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly "I should've kept my legs together, Fred." "So should your mother," he replied


    Ian Healy asked Arjuna: "Got your legs shivering?"
    Arjuna replied: "Yes, Iím tired after sleeping with your wife"

    Shastri hits the ball towards Whitney and tries to steal a single. Whitney snaps up the ball quickly avoiding the single and yells "Get back into your f***ing crease or I'll rip your f***ing head off". Unfazed, Shastri responds, "Mike, if only you could bowl as well as you can talk, you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"


    Once, during the tour of West Indies, a young bowler was trying to get under Gavaskar's skin by sledging. Gavaskar, a senior player retorted "Son, don't waste time sledging at me. I have been sledged at more often than you have taken a piss".


  2. #2
    Junior Member dunadain's Avatar
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    came across some more cricket anecdotes
    Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at
    no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there would be less pressure!

    "Man, it doesn't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero."
    -Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983.


    ************************************************** *********

    Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a
    superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for 6 and replies, "Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"

    ************************************************** *********

    New Zealand vs South Africa:
    Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully Back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"

    ************************************************** *********

    Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"

    ************************************************** *********

    The best of the best
    (Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)

    "Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, They used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing and equally inept runner;

    "When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!"

    Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time." Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county
    match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!".
    Never Underestimate the Predictability Of Stupidity

  3. #3
    gothic_coder
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    Last one was real good..

  4. #4
    Bronze Member danny86's Avatar
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    check this link
    YouTube - Kumar Sangakkara sledging Shaun Pollock

    Kumara sangakara giving hard time to shaun pollock
    Which witch wished which wicked wish? :tt2:

  5. #5
    Alligator itsmemad's Avatar
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    Lol... Nice compilation dudes...

    I remember Parthiv Patel sledging Steve Waugh(in his last test at Sydney)... Steve waugh replied with a killer stroke- "Kid, you were in ur nappies when I made my Test debut"... :lol:

    And who can forget the famous one-liner "Son, you just dropped the world cup", Steve Waugh told Herchelle Gibbs(SA), when Gibbs dropped the catch of Steve waugh in super-six stage of 1999 World cup... Australia went on to win that match and later World Cup!

    But Steve Waugh's sledge against Indians backfired in 2001 Test series... When Ganguly couldn't hold on to a tough catch... Waugh said "You just dropped the Test, mate"...

    And we all know what happened after that... Read more...
    Last edited by itsmemad; 2nd March 2009 at 01:45 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  6. #6
    Platinum Member mickey's Avatar
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    Haha nice for sledging i like this thread evermore.
    job takes the child away.

  7. #7
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    wooohhh!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. #8
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    wow this is funny lol!
    Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight..

  9. #9
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    Nice compilation..........

  10. #10
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    Thanks for the post man

  11. #11
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    Thumbs up

    Superb collection of cricket anectodes. But none from the last decade (2000-2010). Maybe cos cricket has become more mechanical more boring. We need more characters in cricket.
    Please Dont Mind. Im Like This Only.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member mickey's Avatar
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    i read this again and again... cheers thread starter..
    job takes the child away.

  13. #13
    Bronze Member danny86's Avatar
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    cheers guys..
    Which witch wished which wicked wish? :tt2:

  14. #14
    Junior Member tomydelhi's Avatar
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    Good ones man, TFS

  15. #15
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    Like to know more !

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