Thread: Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Santa: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.


Banta built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Banta: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Banta: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Santa: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Santa: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Banta to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Santa in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Santa: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Banta got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Banta replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.


After finishing MBBS Banta started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"

Quiet old but nonetheless good one

Santa Last Painting..
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How do santa take xerox of word document?
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:lol: :lol: :lol: Reps+ GC .. :lol:

:lol::lol:....Good one GC

Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa thinks "how poetic" and says, "pass the custard you b*st*rd".

************************************************** *******

Boss : Am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ? how much is DRIVING salary...?

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Santa and Banta are driving a Car. Santa puts on the indicator and asks Banta to check whether its working.... Banta puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES.. ..NO...

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Santa & Banta are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Santa : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Banta : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

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Santa for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . He replaced friend with fatherin the essay and it read:
I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUEFATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

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Originally Posted by saurav_k

Prince Charles & Santa were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Santa thinks "how poetic" and says, "pass the custard you b*st*rd".

:lol:

Plz Rate this thread..

Originally Posted by saurav_k

Plz Rate this thread..

done...

awsome collection

Good one

Banta Singh:IN-FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaab Airways flight no. 9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage.

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation.

For the rest 10%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.

But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened

For your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat.

If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment. Our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!!

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi.

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights.

As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your front side. It is not a hand fan.

The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off & landing. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air sikness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets

Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways

Good one

Nice one ... GC

What happen to your avatar?

Originally Posted by gothic_coder

What happen to your avatar?

http://www.indiabroadband.net/introd...tml#post177981

funny....

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet..
Santa: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....






Santa & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Santa replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR..






Santa's wish: when I die, I wanna die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all the passengers in d car he was Driving..





A man: "Santa, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Santa: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''. :tt2:






Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Santa goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.And finds It means.
"U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"






Santa was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.






Q) Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
A) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .

this is a laugh riot...

What do you do when a Santa throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

How do you make a Santa laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

What is the Santa doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

Why can't Santa make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

How did the Santa try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

What do you call Santa and 10 friends standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

Why does Santa always smile during lightning storms?
He think his picture is being taken.

Why does Santa have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

How can you tell when Santa sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

:lol: :lol: Nice ones ...

Santa walked up to an airport ticket counter and asked to buy a round trip ticket.
"Where to?" asked the smiling ticket agent. Santa rolled his eyes and said, "Duuuuuh, back here!"

Nice

:lol: