Thread: Santa Banta Jokes

Santa Singh's Interview

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer.

Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.

Following is the transcript :

O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites .

S : Yes Sir.

Officer started asking questions

O : Above

S : Below

O : Front

S : Back

O : Left

S : Right

O : Male

S : Female

O : Ugly (means Next)

S : Pichhly (means Previous)

O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)

S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y(Our Santa also spells it)

O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)

S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L..... Y......(Our Santa also shouts)

Officer is now angry.

O : Get out

S : Come in.

O : Quiet please.

S : Talk please.

O : You are rejected.

S : I am selected

And he got selected

Train Compartment

Once Santa and Banta were traveling in the train. They got the reservation in the last compartment of the train.

Then, unfortunately some time later the last compartment of the train derails and these both fellows are seriously injured and are hospitalized.

So meetings and press conferences were arranged, where they were asked for their advices about the betterment of railways, so that no more such accidents take place.

Santa said immediately that, there should be no last compartment for the train... if at all it is there, it should be shifted to the center of the train.

:lol: nice ... thats correct it has to be shifted to the center :lol:

Both the jokes are very good...

Good one

Good one saurav

Santa Singh is travelling on a flight from Bombay to Sydney. As the flight is approaching towards Sydney, the captain makes a customary announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Sydney and at the moment we are at their outskirts" Santa promptly calls the air-hostess and cheekily asks her "excuse me madam, when will we get inside the skirts?"

---------------------------------------

Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?

Pappu: Pata nahi.

Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.

Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?

Santa: Pata nahi.

Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.

Originally Posted by saurav_k

Santa Singh is travelling on a flight from Bombay to Sydney. As the flight is approaching towards Sydney, the captain makes a customary announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Sydney and at the moment we are at their outskirts" Santa promptly calls the air-hostess and cheekily asks her "excuse me madam, when will we get inside the skirts?"

---------------------------------------

Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?

Pappu: Pata nahi.

Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.

Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?

Santa: Pata nahi.

Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.

:lol:

^^ :d

Originally Posted by saurav_k

Santa: Qutub minar kahan hai?

Pappu: Pata nahi.

Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.

Pappu: Shyam Lal kaun hai?

Santa: Pata nahi.

Pappu: Kabhi Ghar pe bhi raha karo.

Awesome :lol:

Banta's Delusion



Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.

"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I do," Banta replied.

"Very well, then," the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"

"Oh my goodness!" Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"

Good one

Double Decker Bus:

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-Decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.

He says, "Arre Banta Singh! What the heck's going' on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"

:lol: :lol:

:lol:

This one is great:

Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin,
shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

Originally Posted by saurav_k

This one is great:

Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin,
shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

:lol:

Chinese Kid:

Santa got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
"Aah, Santa read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

:lol:

Its not his mistake, he is absolutely correct

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

Originally Posted by saurav_k

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

gud one..

:lol:

ha ha.. good thread guys...

Good one