View Poll Results: Which concept u prefer?

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38. You may not vote on this poll
  • Joint Family

    24 63.16%
  • Nuclear Family

    14 36.84%
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  1. #1
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    Default Joint Family Vs. Nuclear Family

    In India many families still following joint family concept... And there are many who prefer to go nuclear...

    Discuss your thoughts about both here... Consider relation with spouse, parents, children, inlaws etc...

    And finally conclude by declaring your preference after marriage with supporting thoughts...

    Those who are married can tell why they chose it? And their experience in that concept so far...
    Last edited by itsmemad; 21st October 2008 at 03:50 AM.

  2. #2
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    Nuclear Family. The less family members there are in the house, less the problems there will be.

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    Well i think both are ok joint and nuclear. They both have their advantages and disadvantages, therefore i have not voted, but have written my thoughts!

    Living in a joint family is something that depends on how well you can get along with someone and how good the other person if with you and the others in the family. There are advantages of being in a joint family, which include the fact that there is less household expenditure, others can help out when in need.
    The disadvantages which i see in a joint family are that you don't have as much privacy and their may be bickering in the house!

    Living nuclear is also good as you get your own privacy, live life as you want without any problems. On the other hand the disadvantage is that when in need for urgent help its not easily there and the other main disadvantages household expenses increase.

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    I think biggest Advantage of a Joint Family is that a working woman can leave her kids with her inlaws... Thats any day better than leaving the kids with unknown person like a hired nanny or neighbors or those kiddie homes(I'm not able to recall its exact name) while on job... What do u have to say on that?

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    I don't know how to explain. But I don't think joint family is any good. I mean joining two or more families is going to cause clash with each other. Each family have there on styles of living. That will definitely cause problems between each members.

    This is a family ili

    BTW. Where is your vote Pal ?

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    I've joined this discussion with an open mind... I'm not able to decide yet... thats why I started this thread... After getting more views... I'll come to a conclusion... and vote...

    btw Vishnu, congrats on ur new handle & ur Avatar is kool...
    Last edited by itsmemad; 21st October 2008 at 01:46 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

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    Quote Originally Posted by Archer View Post
    I don't know how to explain. But I don't think joint family is any good. I mean joining two or more families is going to cause clash with each other. Each family have there on styles of living. That will definitely cause problems between each members.
    But you have to think that everyone is from the same family and lived together for all their lives, apart from the girls who get married into the house! And obviously when a girl gets married she is told that its joint family! On the whole stress of life is lessened, and if there is a joint family it is big enough to accommodate the extra member who will come into the house!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeti_20 View Post
    But you have to think that everyone is from the same family and lived together for all their lives, apart from the girls who get married into the house! And obviously when a girl gets married she is told that its joint family! On the whole stress of life is lessened, and if there is a joint family it is big enough to accommodate the extra member who will come into the house!
    Yes Exactly! that's what I was talking about. It must have been ok in the old day's. But today people go abroad for studying and all that and have different style of living. It won't be that easy to get along with a family that haven't seen outside world and the changes that happened. Well it's just my thought. I do have a little experience living with in a joint family for a while. Was fun till my uncle got married. We used to play cricket together. Now he is just living his own life. :crying:

    Joint Family might have been good, But it is not very effective for the present time.
    Last edited by Archer; 21st October 2008 at 02:33 AM.

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    So u r hurt cuz he no longer plays cricket with u anymore... :lol: don't worry..in few yrs his children will play with u.... :lol:

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    So u r hurt cuz he no longer plays cricket with u anymore... :lol: don't worry..in few yrs his children will play with u.... :lol:
    He only have a daughter. And they moved to New Zealand. But I am not hurt. I only missed those good old day. Guess people have to move with the time don't they ?

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    Yeah... Thats right... People have to move forward... But that shouldn't be the reason for opposing Joint Family... Think of the good times u had with him... U never cud have those if u weren't born n brought up in joint family...

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    Yeah... Thats right... People have to move forward... But that shouldn't be the reason for opposing Joint Family... Think of the good times u had with him... U never cud have those if u weren't born n brought up in joint family...
    I will say it again in Bold.

    Joint Family might have been good, But it is not very effective for this present time.

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    May be u r right... I'm totally confused at this... I'll have my own family in few yrs... And its gonna be hard for me to leave my parents at old age... Even my GF is single child of her parents... I want to take care of them all... but lets see what the future has in store... Meanwhile I'll just keep a watch on this thread... To know in general... which option will be better...

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    One thing is clear for me now. I wasn't against joint family system in the first place. I simply hated it when it become a nuclear family. I simply hated the change. But for every ones good it was necessary.

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    Glad that u have cleared the clouds hovering ur mind... wanna change ur vote or wot?

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    Glad that u have cleared the clouds hovering ur mind... wanna change ur vote or wot?
    No. never. I am still with what I said.

    BTW. I liked the dramatic dialog.

  17. #17
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    Maybe I should become a writer in films... I guess I'm good at melodrama...

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    Maybe I should become a writer in films... I guess I'm good at melodrama...
    Best of luck. You have lots of good ideas in your mind. You will do wonders. :thumbup1:

  19. #19
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    Naah... Its OK for me here at this forum... I don't wanna see Javed Akhtar run outta bussiness... His work is not too bad... :lol:

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    Naah... Its OK for me here at this forum... I don't wanna see Javed Akhtar run outta bussiness... His work is not too bad... :lol:
    If that is what you desire. Well.
    Anyway I will stay back for other people to shoot there ideas on this topic.

  21. #21
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    Well, we r here like joint family... isn't it? I'm sure u wudn't like to go nuclear again...

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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    Well, we r here like joint family... isn't it? I'm sure u wudn't like to go nuclear again...
    Joint family.............I guess so.

    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    btw Vishnu, congrats on ur new handle & ur Avatar is kool...
    Thanks!
    Last edited by Archer; 21st October 2008 at 04:16 AM.

  23. #23
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    Lightbulb joint joint joint joint joint joint joint joint joint joint

    i suport joint family structure....


    Consider relation with spouse, parents, children, inlaws etc...

    And finally conclude by declaring your preference after marriage with supporting thoughts...

    Those who are married can tell why they chose it? And their experience in that concept so far..
    .


    drafting my reply ... wait till that tym

  24. #24
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    I am curious for other peoples comments on this.

  25. #25
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    Both the options have their own benefits and issues...

    My take is that :

    Working class people have problems settling down in an Joint Family...
    Business class families have problem settling down in nuclear family...


    ps - Vishnu, my dear friend, what happened to you raat-o-raat ???
    Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion !

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovelyMe View Post
    ps - Vishnu, my dear friend, what happened to you raat-o-raat ???
    I didn't get it. What you mean ? If you are talking about changing the User ID go to milans thread and find out.

  27. #27
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    that's cool.... probably u did'nt like every intelligent person knowing your name in the name threads
    Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion !

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeti_20 View Post
    Well i think both are ok joint and nuclear. They both have their advantages and disadvantages, therefore i have not voted, but have written my thoughts!

    Living in a joint family is something that depends on how well you can get along with someone and how good the other person if with you and the others in the family. There are advantages of being in a joint family, which include the fact that there is less household expenditure, others can help out when in need.
    The disadvantages which i see in a joint family are that you don't have as much privacy and their may be bickering in the house!

    Living nuclear is also good as you get your own privacy, live life as you want without any problems. On the other hand the disadvantage is that when in need for urgent help its not easily there and the other main disadvantages household expenses increase.
    Preeti has said what ever I wanted to say...Both has its advantages & disadvantages.In Joint Family its all about loving "living together".I am a part of a joint family.The members in my family are My dad & mom,my sis,my uncle (my dad's younger brother), my aunt, & my 2 cousins (bro & sis). Totally 8 of us.There has been no problem. Each of us has enjoyed being together...

    As preeti was saying there is not much privacy in the joint family.Wanted to know what it means by privacy ?
    Collection of my useful Threads - All in One

  29. #29
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    Nuclear families offer peace of mind... whenever there will b an increase in family members, an increase in misunderstandings will follow,

    a joint family will most probably give rise to many nuclear families sooner or later when members decide to leave because of petty fights now n again...

    so why not just give every1 space and leave without first having to deal with these issues which gives way for rifts between relations?
    DON'T beam me up, Scotty!

  30. #30
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    You have a very valid point StarryKnight... Moreover the girl who comes in the family might not adjust with her in-laws... or vice-versa... Ego issues may arise on both sides... Whole lotta tension for the boy! lol

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    Ya the boy suffers a lot in such cases... hehe... who else will... and he gets in a very sticky situation cause of this all...

    Nuclear families preserve relations... we shud all learn to have space and give space to others, no use sticking to each others and messing it all up finally..
    DON'T beam me up, Scotty!

  32. #32
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    That the same with my Uncle.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archer View Post
    That the same with my Uncle.
    and we got proof... thx archer... better to be safe... its just too much complicated nowadays...

    big joint families were a thing of the past when we were all simple...
    DON'T beam me up, Scotty!

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    and we got proof... thx archer... better to be safe... its just too much complicated nowadays...

    big joint families were a thing of the past when we were all simple...
    I will say it again in Red Bold Letters.

    Joint Family might have been good, But it is not very effective for this present time.

  35. #35
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    and here comes my 300th post... a lot for me;

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    and here comes my 300th post... a lot for me;
    Cool. Just one more post.

  37. #37
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    done already...

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    done already...
    Started a thread for you. Congratulations the new SilverKnight!

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archer View Post
    Started a thread for you. Congratulations the new SilverKnight!
    i already posted in that thread m8... the third reply... check it out. n thx again...

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archer View Post
    I will say it again in Bold.

    Joint Family might have been good, But it is not very effective for this present time.
    Thats not true, as there are educated and modern people who are fine living in a joint family and enjoying the fact of being in a joint family, so i can not agree with you on that. It may be that you are giving your experiences, but you got to remember its not always the same with everyone! With the working families it works out better to be in a joint family, so no one really gets in your way and you have your own time and space!


    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    Nuclear families offer peace of mind... whenever there will b an increase in family members, an increase in misunderstandings will follow,

    a joint family will most probably give rise to many nuclear families sooner or later when members decide to leave because of petty fights now n again...

    so why not just give every1 space and leave without first having to deal with these issues which gives way for rifts between relations?
    Its not necessary that there will be fights, misunderstandings happen in every relationship even if you live in a nuclear family, so it doesn't justify what you said! And when there is a joint family you automatically adjust and there are many people who are happy in their joint families, they have their own space, celebrate festivals together and have no problems. I can not say that they dont have arguments or anything, cause any family which doesn't is not normal then!

  41. #41
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    U shud know preeti that Issues are directly proportional to the no. of people around...

  42. #42
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    i am with Nuclear Family and i really support this idea till the time it is not causing any issues to your parents or grand parents.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeti_20 View Post
    Thats not true, as there are educated and modern people who are fine living in a joint family and enjoying the fact of being in a joint family, so i can not agree with you on that. It may be that you are giving your experiences, but you got to remember its not always the same with everyone! With the working families it works out better to be in a joint family, so no one really gets in your way and you have your own time and space!
    Yeah! I already said it's my thoughts. I have seen arguments even in Nuclear Families about this subject (about living together with other members). Isn't it better to separate the family early than doing it after a fight. That's all I am saying. Family is family no matter where the live. And the more distant they live the more we like them. And family is just for show now a days. Why take a risk for something like this ?

    BTW. RJ you have my repo for starting this thread.

  44. #44
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    +100 on that archer...

  45. #45
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    Thanks Archer... Seems everybody having fun here...lol.. I'm keeping an eye... with some comments from my side too...

    As I said earlier... The joint family is ideal for the woman who wants to work as well as have a family... Working women have someone to leave their children with when they are away at work, rather than leaving their children in a creche or with servants... They can be assured that their children are being looked after by people who care for them almost as much as they do themselves... After all, as they say, "blood is thicker than water!"

    Also, children need not have to go out of the home to seek companionship... They always have their cousins or to play with... Daughter inlaws of home can share family responsibilities and social duties... They take turns cooking, dropping the children to school and baby-sitting...

    Not every family is a happy family even if its nuclear... What is most important is the atmosphere in a joint family... If there is a congenial atmosphere in a joint family, it can be a virtue...

  46. #46
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    What kind of family you live in. Nuclear Family or Joint Family?
    I like to hear everyone answer if possible. I used to live in a Joined family system. Now I live in a Nuclear Family system. Just wanted to make sure everybody is on the same page here.

  47. #47
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    I live in Nuclear Family

  48. #48
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    My grandparents have always lived with us... but none other... if u call that a joint family... then, I'm still living in joint... My mother is a working woman... And she used to leave the responsibility of me n my bro at my grandparents when she was out to earn...

    But there were times mum was really pissed off... Grandparents used to undermine mum's authority because they felt that they have more experience in raising children... They used to pass adverse remarks to mum in front of me n my bro like, "You don't know how to handle children" - As a result, mum felt suppressed, depressed and frustrated...She, in turn, took her frustration out on her own children...lol .. Those were funny days...

    But now she doesn't regret... She says though it was torcherous sometimes... But shez really grateful to my Grandparents who took care of her children more than she could herself...

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    My grandparents have always lived with us... but none other... if u call that a joint family... then, I'm still living in joint... My mother is a working woman... And she used to leave the responsibility of me n my bro at my grandparents when she was out to earn...

    But there were times mum was really pissed off... Grandparents used to undermine mum's authority because they felt that they have more experience in raising children... They used to pass adverse remarks to mum in front of me n my bro like, "You don't know how to handle children" - As a result, mum felt suppressed, depressed and frustrated...She, in turn, took her frustration out on her own children...lol .. Those were funny days...
    You call that funny.

    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post
    But now she doesn't regret... She says though it was torcherous sometimes... But shez really grateful to my Grandparents who took care of her children more than she could herself...
    I am also grateful to my Grandma(my mother's mother) for taking care of me. That's one reason why I don't joined family. I mean seeing them suffering in the middle of everyone's family problem is simply painful.

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    ----
    Last edited by StarK; 22nd October 2008 at 09:41 PM.

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archer View Post
    You call that funny.
    I meant I like being beaten by my mother... Sometimes when she was kicking my ass... I stood with all my hands up... And took all the beating with laugh... and shouted "I'm He Man... I've power of Universe"...(He man was my fav. cartoon character at that time... and those were his lines)... :lol:

    U can call that my arrogance... But I guess, I took pleasure in giving comfort to my mum by letting her take all her frustrations out on me...

  52. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsmemad View Post

    U can call that my arrogance... But I guess, I took pleasure in giving comfort to my mum by letting her take all her frustrations out on me...
    Well if you put it that way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    U shud know preeti that Issues are directly proportional to the no. of people around...
    Not true, i have seen large number of people live in one family and they are all fine, and issues are in every household whether in a nuclear or joint family!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeti_20 View Post
    Not true, i have seen large number of people live in one family and they are all fine, and issues are in every household whether in a nuclear or joint family!
    Yes! But at least those problems won't affect anyone else if we live as Nuclear Family.

  55. #55
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    Well thats not the case with me, if u can see my last post....

    yup archer... u extracted the point

  56. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeti_20 View Post
    issues are in every household whether in a nuclear or joint family!
    Thats so correct... Nuclear families sometimes find it hard to maintain cordial relations... Some people have difficulty dealing with other people and such people will face problems whichever way they go...

    I've decided to vote on joint family now... Where is ur vote gonna be?

  57. #57
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    but the issues are more in joint families... thats it for me tonite... not feeling too well too... nn folks...

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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnight View Post
    but the issues are more in joint families... thats it for me tonite... not feeling too well too... nn folks...
    Me too.
    I will find some more obstacles to put in your way. Till then good bye.

  59. #59
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    i am living in nuclear family and most of the times i am alone at home coz i work in nite shifts when my parents are at home and they work in day shift when i am at home :lol:
    so most of the times i see my parents only once or twice in a week :lol:

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    People with ur schedule can live in any family structure... :lol:

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