Thread: Extra Marital Affairs

Also known as infidelity, unfaithful, cheating, adultery, relationship outside marriage, I guess, Extra Marital Affair is the most common problem that human kind is facing since the concept of marriage came into existence... Earlier people were apprehensive to talk about it... But things are changing for good... Now, people are quite open to talk about this curse which frequently destroys married couple lives...

Generally speaking, extra marital affairs can arise in three scenarios... First one is due to sexual incompatibility between the partners... In this case, one partner physical needs are greater than the other... And she/he ventures out of home to satisfy her/his needs... The affair can last from just one night to a state in which emotions also develop...

Second case crops up due to lack of emotional bonding & support in between
a married couple... A partner tries to find love outside home... Obviously, this is the case in which there is slim chance of restoration of the married couple's relation... And usually they end up in divorce...

Finally, in present corporate world the frequency of extra marital affairs is increasing day by day... Corrupt bosses ask for sexual favors and employees give themselves in, hoping that it will lead them to success quickly... Recent bollywood movie "Life in a Metro" depicted this scenario very well...

I invite all of you to share your thought on extra marital affairs... Some points you can take cue from are -

What are the causes of extra marital affair in ur opinion?
What can be done to avoid being unfaithful to ur spouse?
What are the signs that one can pick up to guess that partner is indulged in adultery?
What will you do if you find your partner is actually cheating on you?
What are the ill-effects of relationship outside marriage on a family which has children?
Can a relation survive infidelity?

Originally Posted by itsmemad

Also known as infidelity, unfaithful, cheating, adultery, relationship outside marriage, I guess, Extra Marital Affair is the most common problem that human kind is facing since the concept of marriage came into existence... Earlier people were apprehensive to talk about it... But things are changing for good... Now, people are quite open to talk about this curse which frequently destroys married couple lives...

Generally speaking, extra marital affairs can arise in three scenarios... First one is due to sexual incompatibility between the partners... In this case, one partner physical needs are greater than the other... And she/he ventures out of home to satisfy her/his needs... The affair can last from just one night to a state in which emotions also develop...

Second case crops up due to lack of emotional bonding & support in between
a married couple... A partner tries to find love outside home... Obviously, this is the case in which there is slim chance of restoration of the married couple's relation... And usually they end up in divorce...

Finally, in present corporate world the frequency of extra marital affairs is increasing day by day... Corrupt bosses ask for sexual favors and employees give themselves in, hoping that it will lead them to success quickly... Recent bollywood movie "Life in a Metro" depicted this scenario very well...

I invite all of you to share your thought on extra marital affairs... Some points you can take cue from are -

What are the causes of extra marital affair in ur opinion?
What can be done to avoid being unfaithful to ur spouse?
What are the signs that one can pick up to guess that partner is indulged in adultery?
What will you do if you find your partner is actually cheating on you?
What are the ill-effects of relationship outside marriage on a family which has children?
Can a relation survive infidelity?

Nice topic ----Reality of LIFE...must say!

well acc to me....I definately agree that there are several reasons like this for an extra marital affair...!!!
There are many more reasons like one being not spending time with each other, extra possesiveness n no space, et al.....after which at a given point a person cant take....this is when thy start going out to frens or strangers n talk to em n its than started......!!!

Lots of ppl realise their mistakes.....n get back to their families...!!!! (I really wonder how cud thye accept it....definately if theres a genuine reason which i dont think so but u neva kno a persons circumstances)

Personally, I wudnt accept my partner if I find out that hez having an affair outside.... but I wud definately want to hear the reason b/h my partner going out...!!!!

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

Nice topic ----Reality of LIFE...must say!

Personally, I wudnt accept my partner if I find out that hez having an affair outside.... but I wud definately want to hear the reason b/h my partner going out...!!!!

Thanks..

What if you have children? Won't u give ur partner another chance just for the sake of kids?

Originally Posted by itsmemad

What are the causes of extra marital affair in ur opinion?
What can be done to avoid being unfaithful to ur spouse?
What are the signs that one can pick up to guess that partner is indulged in adultery?
What will you do if you find your partner is actually cheating on you?
What are the ill-effects of relationship outside marriage on a family which has children?
Can a relation survive infidelity?

Good topic to start!

I think the causes are absolutely right which itsmemad has mentioned, and again understanding is an important factor in the relationship.
I personally think why go out of your married life and go for an affair. If your not happy with your married life, then talk about it to your partner, where things can get resolved!

There is no point in going out to make yourself happy like go out shopping, go out drinking, smoking, go out and stay with friends, as with this the couple gets even more distant, and the problem is still there. Talking is something which can stop the marital affair from happening! Unless the person who is having an affair is just a sleeze or someone who roams around with others and is in the habbit of it (whether its the man always looking for other women to flirt and be with, or its the women looking for other men to flirt or be with).

Having trust in your relationship is very important, i know sometimes people lie and their trust gets broken, but sometimes the lies are not to do with cheating or having affairs, its just general lies which they have said. But this should not be taken into suspecting them of having an affair. What the other partner should think is that why would they be with them if they wanted to be with someone else!

The signs which can be picked up if your partner is having an affair, is that your partner will not make any eye contact with you, be away from you, not be involved in what you say, and will always ask for their own privacy, privacy at times is ok, but when they want to be on their own a lot thats what you have to see. Whenever they get a phone call they will always go out of the room (it may be a case that the partner gets a new sim card which you will not be aware of), they will stay out of the home for long.

Tip: go through their phone, their computer and check to see if anything is there!

I dont know what i would do if i found out my partner was having an affair, i think it would depend on the situation, and what hes actually been up to!

Children are highly affected in this kind of situation, and if the couple end up separating and getting a divorce it mentally affects the children and their future, and children need both a father and a mother!

Well infidelity cant really survive a relationship, as it ruins the whole relationships, emotionally and physically. Trusting the partner becomes difficult, cracks come in the relationship and it has a bad affect overall!

I point i would like to make is, never judge or assume your partner is having an affair, as just assuming can also have bad affects on a relationship. Sometimes acts or the way of talking makes the other person think that their partner is having an affair! If you do think this ask them, talk about it!

Whether you trust your partner or not, but there should be trust that they would not cheat you or leave you!

And if you do think this just ask yourself, why is your partner with you if she wanted to be with someone else!

Extra marital affair is not a good idea at all but still it is coming up in our society and most of the people just go for it without thinking about future or anything, i would like to show you the other side of this coin. I know most of the times my idea sounds very strange and people say that it is not practical enough but still we need to look to the positive side of coin.

There are few more reasons why people go in such relation, just think about those girls who stay here in India and there husband go outside India for job and all, let me use some open words here now, after marriage man comes in her life and for a few days gives the best taste and all but after few days he disappears from picture and don't come back for 6 months or for 1 year. In this case if a girl goes out or gets involved in any relation then do you think its wrong. Even she have some dreams and needs (yes it is a need and you can not deny this fact)
If a man marry's a girl and girl is not co-op enough then man looks out for a new joint then you may call it wrong but what if girl don't feel comfortable or is not willing to offer proper time and space (like there are so many girls who say that sex makes you look bad or fat) then do you really think man need to stick to that female only.

India is a big country we talk about freedom, we talk about global things, globalization and all we say western culture is so cool and good. Then why we feel bad to adopt everything from them.

Whenever we see Las Vegas, LA, CA we say wow... looks thats called life mann... so why we deny such facts why we behave like cowards and why we try to escape from such things.

Just sit in dark once and think what will you do if you find your dream man or dream girl calling you out for a date or for a happening nite. Be honest, i am bold and true enough to say loud and clear that yes i will grab that opportunity.

Ok people lets be bold and honest enough to accept our bad side too, we all are humans.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

There is no point in going out to make yourself happy like go out shopping, go out drinking, smoking

preeti are you sure that a person can go out to smoke coz till date you always speak against smoking and stuff.

I just said things that people start or do! Yeh i still am against smoking, and i wasn't talking about myself in the post its about people in general!

I still hate people smoking! If i ever do get married, i hope my husband doest smoke!

Smoothie,
this is nothing new or from a western culture.
1000 years back we had the same situation in Tamil Nadu
where Kovalan had an affair with Madhavi.
His wife Kannagi ended up burning the entire city of Madurai.

-F

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

I still hate people smoking! If i ever do get married, i hope my husband doest smoke!

are you sure about it preeti
coz this means that you hate me and admin both

thanks for the explanation farce

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

are you sure about it preeti
coz this means that you hate me and admin both

thanks for the explanation farce

you are welcome.

Actually Preeti doesn't hate you, she said she hates "people smoking"
NOT "smoking people"

-F

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

are you sure about it preeti
coz this means that you hate me and admin both

Well i said it, i hate smokers! But when your not smoking you guys are ok, but when your smoking i hate you guys!

ohhh means intermittent
disconnection issues :lol:

ok ok i got that preeti..
BTW: i know you are really a sweet friend

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

(like there are so many girls who say that sex makes you look bad or fat) .

Wow, Is this true? I thought I knew pretty much everything there is
to know but I guess you learn something new!!!

-F

no this is true, atlease in north india its true, i have seen lot many hot chicks who gain weight like anything means before marriage she will be a cute girl with good fig and weight not more than 54kgs but after marriage she will be a huge aunty ji with wonderful body and weight not less than 90kgs
this really happens i have seen so many sardaarni's and punjabi females, when they sit in saadi marroti the marroti screeams like anything :scared:

parminder... preeti aisa hota hai na...

no this is true, atlease in north india its true, i have seen lot many hot chicks who gain weight like anything means before marriage she will be a cute girl with good fig and weight not more than 54kgs but after marriage she will be a huge aunty ji with wonderful body and weight not less than 90kgs
this really happens i have seen so many sardaarni's and punjabi females, when they sit in saadi marroti the marroti screeams like anything :scared:

parminder... preeti aisa hota hai na...

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

no this is true, atlease in north india its true, i have seen lot many hot chicks who gain weight like anything means before marriage she will be a cute girl with good fig and weight not more than 54kgs but after marriage she will be a huge aunty ji with wonderful body:

I don't think the weight gain is due to sex. I think they just become
less active and/or eat more.

sex actually burns calories so theoretically they should be losing weight

-F

but here its totally different may be it burns calories in south india but here it adds

That was so funny smoothy, but very true :lol:

There is an exception to some who don't gain weight and if they do they get back to their normal weight!

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

but here its totally different may be it burns calories in south india but here it adds

Actually in South India also the married women gain weight
but as I said that is more because of the lifestyle and diet.

-F

LOL @ smoothvibes

I guess girls dont get too much pocket money from parents and whatever they earn goes into thier bank and once they get married they start eating like pigs using hubby money ha ha ha. mcdonalds, pizza huts and dominos and what not... sub way and all that crap.

Any way jokes apart... I guess thats soemthign to do with age as well. coz the girls you are talking about are of young age and they get married and over the years they stop caring about how the look (there are exceptions) and dont bother about their tummies as they know divorces are still not common place in India...
Its a bit different in western countries where I see even middle aged women are very weight concious and even older women... You would find more women in shape in developed countries as compared to India and I think its got something to do with our oil consumption as well and women here in India hardly ever go out they just cook eat and sleep and the kaam wali bai does everything from them and that makes them even more fat.


PS: no offence intended towards anyone.

he he he... i know that
its funny but true... i remember one of my friend when he got married he was much more attrective and healthy thn his wife and now this dude looks like her kid :lol:
preeti shaadi kae baad tum bhi aise full moti hogi kya

time to call a LOL :lol::lol::lol:

Originally Posted by Admin

I guess girls dont get too much pocket money from parents and whatever they earn goes into thier bank and once they get married they start eating like pigs using hubby money ha ha ha. mcdonalds, pizza huts and dominos and what not... sub way and all that crap.

ha ha ha LOL :lol:
parminder i am telling you please tell bhabhi to stay away from computer and IBB for few days if she will read this na then for sure you will not get even a single grain for next 7 days :lol:

BTW: look my skills everyone is talking offtopic and no one knows the topic of this thread :lol:

No way, I will try my level best not to be! I wont eat like a pig, and keep myself busy! Will start exercise from now, so that i will still have the routine when i get married

@ Admin, what you said about the kaam wali bai is so true, 90% because of them women put on weight, as they dont do any of the house work and its all left for the bai!

LOL she hasent been to the forum lately ... busy with her own stuff so I guess I am safe.

ok ok lets come back to topic now
otherwise i know there are lot many people who will say dekho dekho Mod nae ek ladki aur admin ko bhi bigaad diya :lol:

lol lol :lol:

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

no this is true, atlease in north india its true, i have seen lot many hot chicks who gain weight like anything means before marriage she will be a cute girl with good fig and weight not more than 54kgs but after marriage she will be a huge aunty ji with wonderful body and weight not less than 90kgs
this really happens i have seen so many sardaarni's and punjabi females, when they sit in saadi marroti the marroti screeams like anything :scared:

It happens everywhere in India after marriage... In India its a culture to welcome guests with food,food & food(any doubt? watch 1st half of bollywood movie "Vivah") ... And after marriage girls gain weight mainly cuz they are expected to participate in every family gathering/parties... And being a new member in house, everyone see to it that shez over-eating and having loads of sweets...lol

One of my Kashmiri friend in college joined VLCC before her marriage... and was in very good shape in few weeks... she got married in the holidays after a semester... when she returned to join college after 1 month... She was looking like a mother... I'm sure she had loads traditional Kashmiri dishes during her stay there...

As farce said, weight doesn't increase due to sex... but yes, the outcome of sex(pregnancy) spells doom for a girl's figure... As the girl has to increase her diet to feed the kid... and the kid hanging around in there only helps to increase her size... but there are methods to regain that shape back... doctors should be consulted...

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

Good topic to start!

I personally think why go out of your married life and go for an affair. If your not happy with your married life, then talk about it to your partner, where things can get resolved!....

....Talking is something which can stop the marital affair from happening!....

....Having trust in your relationship is very important,....

....What the other partner should think is that why would they be with them if they wanted to be with someone else!....

Thanks..
Bullseye! Thats what everyone should always have in mind...

I agree... Lack of communication & trust has huge potential to break a relationship...

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

The signs which can be picked up if your partner is having an affair, is that your partner will not make any eye contact with you, be away from you, not be involved in what you say, and will always ask for their own privacy, privacy at times is ok, but when they want to be on their own a lot thats what you have to see. Whenever they get a phone call they will always go out of the room (it may be a case that the partner gets a new sim card which you will not be aware of), they will stay out of the home for long.

Tip: go through their phone, their computer and check to see if anything is there!

wow... were u a detective? :w00t: Now I know why girlfriends are always suspicious... :lol:

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

Children are highly affected in this kind of situation, and if the couple end up separating and getting a divorce it mentally affects the children and their future, and children need both a father and a mother!

Yeah... I agree with you... & people do sacrifice a lot for their children...

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

There are few more reasons why people go in such relation, just think about those girls who stay here in India and there husband go outside India for job and all, let me use some open words here now, after marriage man comes in her life and for a few days gives the best taste and all but after few days he disappears from picture and don't come back for 6 months or for 1 year. In this case if a girl goes out or gets involved in any relation then do you think its wrong. Even she have some dreams and needs (yes it is a need and you can not deny this fact)

Thats a very good reason you touched smoothie... I think only solution to it is that a guy should marry a girl only if he knows that he can take her along with him... cuz people need some time to stay together just after marriage to grow the relation emotionally... after some time, its OK to go on official trips alone... As ur spouse can trust u more then... and vice-versa...

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

Just sit in dark once and think what will you do if you find your dream man or dream girl calling you out for a date or for a happening nite. Be honest, i am bold and true enough to say loud and clear that yes i will grab that opportunity.

What if ur dream girl/man is ur wife/husband? Sit in the dark once... And think why would you want to make ur & ur family's life hell for just few minutes of pleasure?