Thread: Kitne ajeeb Rishtay hai yaahan pe…

“Do pal miltey hai, saath saath chalte hai,
Jab mord aaye to bachke nikalte hai,
Kitne ajeeb Rishtey hai yaahan pe…”

What a beautiful song from the movie Page 3, you can’t judge if the depth of beauty of this song is more or the meaning of this song is deeper. But one thing is for sure, the lines are as true as god.
Many of you might not agree with this, but, if you’ll think and answer honestly you’ll agree, this is the harsh reality of Relationships.
"No one is for no one."

How many times it had happened with you, the most trusted person in your life had turned you down when you needed him/her the most. It could be anyone…it could be your brother, sister, mother, father, your best friend, your sweetheart…anyone.

Let me share one the moments of my life with you, I was into my graduation, things like recruitments, campus placement etc were common in college campus. We were a group of 3 friends, rather my best friends, and still we are. We all were trying our luck in interviews trying to grab the best opportunities, supporting each other, helping each other in preparation etc. Suddenly one of my “best friends” said he had to go somewhere urgently and he won’t be coming back for at least a weak. We tried our best to know what had happened suddenly, if everything is alright, but he said everything is fine and he can manage and went away.
Later, we came to know that the guy actually went to Delhi for an interview, from somewhere he came to know that there was a very good opportunity in some XYZ company who is paying healthy packages, the posts were limited, and the company will not be visiting to college campuses rather it’s asking for the walk in interviews. Our friend didn’t want to increase the competition so he didn’t tell us and went alone in interview. Good thing is, he got selected there and currently working as the Assistant Manager in the same company.
Later when he came back he told us everything, and said it was a sudden call. He asked us not to mind anything. To be honest, we didn’t. He is still my best friend. But I have learnt a lot from this experience. Now I take things more seriously. I don’t trust people easily. I am a changed man in some contest.

No, I am not trying to say that don't trust people; or there is no such thing like friendship;NO.

I just wanted to let you know my feelings, I hope you have understand what I am trying to express.

I am looking forward to hear your opinion, your view, your stories…

Yes I do agree wid u to a certain extent.....!

this happens not due to utmost trust but its bcoz of the expectations tht we have from the other person....!

I ve also had similar experiences .....but now i try to b really careful in choosing the ppl arnd me...!!!! plus I ve understood tht no matter wht ur family is always there for u....thy neva let u down!

We jus need to take things in a practical way but no matter wht we do n at the end we get emotional over sum things when it comes to ppl who r close to u....!!!!

It has happened to me as well...like my best fren.....we r togather since more than 20 years now....from kg...we used to talk about every small thing happening in our lives n used to b always togather...!!! she took one of the major decisions of her life....about getting married w/o even informing. she made me meet her fiancee almost after 4 days of deciding evertything...! Still she is my best fren.....n till date we r da same....!

I always wanted to ask her about this thing but i felt it was always better to not to speak about this to her....!!!!! maybe i xpected more.....

Experiences like this only make a person learn n bcome practical in life....!!!! Anyways i m thankful tht things like these dont affect me much !My Family is always there to support me....!!!!

You got me perfect..i thought may be i am not able to express what I am trying to but I think I succeeded thanks

I totally agree with you what you said, i like two things the most; first - Be practical and the second one is no matter what, your family is always there to support you.

But one thing I really wanna ask, if we compare your and my experience it seems that this topic revolves around friendship only; I mean we expect more from our friends but what about our family; are we expecting more from them too; what if your brother sister let you down?

one thing more, did your friend get married?

Originally Posted by Manish

You got me perfect..i thought may be i am not able to express what I am trying to but I think I succeeded thanks

I totally agree with you what you said, i like two things the most; first - Be practical and the second one is no matter what, your family is always there to support you.

But one thing I really wanna ask, if we compare your and my experience it seems that this topic revolves around friendship only; I mean we expect more from our friends but what about our family; are we expecting more from them too; what if your brother sister let you down?

one thing more, did your friend get married?

well well....see i understand ppl really fast....! dunno jus ve it me ......LOL!!!1ve experienced a couple of things which were maybe required.....n m thnkful to those lot....tht i ve been so!

yes its always about frenship! NO, ur family neva lets u down!!!!!

atleast in my these many years of life i ve neva seen my parents or my brother lemme down...no matter wht!!!! i can also say tht generally coz i normally ve a lot of frens n most of em r really close frens ....n there family is always there to support them.....even when frens r there or not...!!!! sumtimes its the situation n circumstances which makes u do things....but it for ur good only...!

I personally think tht Family is always there for u....maybe thy bcome rude, strict, angry wid u....but its always for ur good! No parent or siblings can think sooo!!!!

Yes my fren got married.....n its almost 11 months now...n now shes coming bak to her normal thingy....prolly this happens when there is a new relation but tht doesnt mean u forget ur frens.....! i mean atleast for me my frens r very valuable.....as my life mostly revolves arnd them ....also i ve a very small family n everyone in my family has similar thinking when it cums to frens..!!!!

that's very great

I think we should change the heading of this thread to "Kitni ajeeb friendships hai yaahaan pe (exceptions are always there )"

I think we are the only two who agree with the topic..right people???

Looks soo...or prolly we only ve experienced in our lives things like this....!!!

Frenships not ajeeb....situations n circumstances...rule most of the times.....!!!! but sumtimes the person only r soo....

This very thing makes it more complex to understand..on one side most of us will have our best moment with our friends while many of us have been bluffed by their own friends...but I totally agree that it depends upon person to person and situation to situation..we can only judge this thing by being practical in life...by taking some time before keeping a blind trust on any person

What do you think??

yea i totally agreee wid u....!!!!

lets see if we can have more guys to share their experience with us..

I think it is difficult to trust people, in todays time there is a lot of jealousy and many people think about themselves, which is why it creates this dis trust in relationships, especially like you guys mentioned in friendship!

It doesn't happen with immediate family like parents, or brothers or sisters, but sometimes these things do occur in cousins!

I think trust breaks because you you expect a lot from someone, and they turn out to do something different which hurts you, but sometimes it is also the case that the way you think of someone they may not think of you, and this can be a misconception in any relationship!

I think the key to it don't expect a lot from relations and yes like Aashaka mentioned be practical.

I think you can be at ease with your spouse, parents and brothers and sisters though, as long as you have a good relation with them!

Thanks for sharing your comments

Don't you have any experience to share??

well yea i can add one more thing is the basic understanding btwn two frens... also if there is a communication gap....tht also leads to problems in any kind of relationship....!!!

I ve seen ppl living in two - three different personalities, faking it in wid frens to be in the society, @ home thy ve really ortho atmosphere.....so happens...situation makes em do things....!!!

I feel the best is to be wht u r n be down to earth....wid each n every one!!!! the basic personality shud be the same but yes way of talkin depends on the person accross...so one shud kno to handle n tackle ppl n situations!

Okay, this one is getting hotter:

So i just linedown the major things we must keep in mind to have a healthy and smooth relationship:

-Don't trust easily, take your time Dude.
-Always try to be practical in life
-Don't expect much from others esp. your friends
-Keep a positive attitude:hammer:
-Avoid communication gaps:blushing:
-Don't bluff
-DoTell your friends, that you're getting married:lol:

and above all - No matter what, your family will be always there to support you

Got more ideas guys..shoot in

LOL......y was there....do tell ur frens u r gettin married....!!! obviously thy will.....

my point was maybe at times u think tht ur fren might need a help in decision ....when normally even the smallest decisions r taken togather....!!! nyways good u listed down points in nut shell....but whrs everyone.....???? looks like no one else has experienced relationships so......MADZ, smoothie, SB, admin.....n so on......

I don't have any such experiences myself, as i kind of keep to myself and dont expect anything from anyone!

I think misunderstanding can cause huge problems too, whether its friendship, parents, siblings, spouse relationship!

So best thing is be yourself and be clear! Some people may not like things about you, but you should not worry about that, because at least your not faking it!

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

LOL......y was there....do tell ur frens u r gettin married....!!! obviously thy will.....

that was just a light punch in the show

@preeti
Its very good that you didn't experience such things in life and I wish you never exp this in your life.

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

I personally think tht Family is always there for u....maybe thy bcome rude, strict, angry wid u....but its always for ur good! No parent or siblings can think sooo!!!!

And how do you know what was good for you, in retrospect? This is relative, not absolute. This also means that your family is supposedly capable of taking better decisions about you than you yourself are, which for you as an individual, means you can improve.

And what is family? You would include only siblings and parents in this I think. But in some places, family means you, your spouse and your kids. For the enlightened, it encompasses everything:
'ayam nijah paro veti, gananam laghuchetsam, udaar hrudyanaam tu vasudhaiv kutumbkam' - for the large-hearted, the whole world is family.

Some say that there is good in everything happening to you (not that I agree with this philosophy, but I have my own reasons); who knows, maybe that scar your friend gave you in a bitter fight over some misunderstanding was the reason you were chosen as the sexiest male face... (I know I am talking extremes here). Maybe when your beloved let you down, you turned to spirituality and gained something which cannot even be explained in and to the material world! A simpler example would be that you got a more caring husband/wife than you would have had you married the boy/girl you thought you loved. But, as I said, this is relative, not absolute, so all that shapes your world is how you perceive it. In other words, Rishtey ajeeb hain if you perceive them that way.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

It doesn't happen with immediate family like parents, or brothers or sisters, but sometimes these things do occur in cousins!

That's your perception. What do you speak, for example, of a child whose mom left him/her to fend for him/herself after giving birth, or the scores of drunkards who abuse their own children - in rich and poor families alike?

I was only giving my own view, but something like that does happen. Its happened with someone i know, where she trusted her parents and thought that they would let her get married to the guy she wants, he was educated same religion and caste, but her parents let her down and disagreed for the marriage. (although her parents kept her hopes up, in her life saying to her that she can get married to anyone she wants as long as hes from a good family and of same religion and caste)

@smnesmwhr
One thing I must say about you, you seems to have very experienced person. You have forced us to amend our list I really liked your point of view.

Originally Posted by smnesmwhr

who knows, maybe that scar your friend gave you in a bitter fight over some misunderstanding was the reason you were chosen as the sexiest male face...

Whatever it may be, I just loved that.

well well.. this is a very nice topic u opened manish...

All i will tell is zindagi sab kuch sikha deti hai... ( for those who dont know hindi pl go n learn... :lol: )


all this i think happens when ppl make friends.. gradually they become best friends,., from one side may be it must be more or from other side... no matter.. as the person comes nearer it becomes dearer too!! he/she has all tht trust, likeliness, friendship or more than that.. according to their personal data.. n now its but natural.. ppl need importance as per the relation.. if u expect more from anyone.. so its natural if the opposite person doesnt fulfill it.. u will be more heart broken.. same thing in above all instances.. i have also experienced a lot more instances... but but but........



zindagi sab kuch sikha deti hai mere dost...!!!!


the more u expect the less u get.. thats what i believe.. never expect too much from anyone.. if u expect too much n get less u will be sad.. but think oposite... if u never expect anything more from anyone.. n if he or she does something for u,,, u will be happy for much more.. thats all funda of life..


on top.. there are lot of ppl confuse b/w in their relation.. they expect all things as for he or she would b his or her gf/bf ... but when someone asks or when its in public they say or try to prove as JUST FRIENDS.... but then comes EXPECTATIONS ,,, from each other.. which will lead to all sadness... pl never couple your relation n never mix relation... this is it!!! no more words.. ( may be slightly m coming to different topic,, )


cheers... :lol:

no you are not going offtopic..we all are glad to have the expert comment

Actually you are absolutely right...the main cause is this bloody expectations...no expectation no problems...but on the other these expectations make things beautiful...that's also life...

Originally Posted by Manish

no you are not going offtopic..we all are glad to have the expert comment

Actually you are absolutely right...the main cause is this bloody expectations...no expectation no problems...but on the other these expectations make things beautiful...that's also life...

TOTALLY......Expectations is usually the main cause for all these issues...!!!

95% of the cases wud be the other person didnt turn to do as expected out of him.....! apart from tht there are also cases of ur frens lying to u as well....n at times we jus hear to one side of the story n freak out....We shud make sure to hear both the sides....!!!!!

yes, manish if we want these expectations can make our life beautiful but than one shud make it very clear to the other person tht wht he/she expects from them n vice versa....than things wud b transperant n relations clear....!!!!!

Also, at times situations n circumstances make us to take steps which we wudnt ve thought or we dont want too.....but again life has its own ups n downs which it needs to show us....!!!!!

I was in class 11th... One friend of mine(from class 1) betrayed me in 1st sem exams... He was taking tutions from our Chemistry teacher who told him each & every question that was about to come next day... My friend who had assured me earlier that he'll share all the information with me, refused to divulge the details when he met me at our hang-out place afterwards... I still remember that chilly night when he told me very confidently that "Sir hasn't given me any hints about the paper tomorrow"... I knew by a look at his eyes that he was lying...

My doubt was confirmed later when the results came out & he scored 86 in Chemistry! And failed miserably in all the other 4 subjects...

His result created a furore in the School among teachers & students... A new rule was introduced by the principal... That no teacher can give tutions privately to any student of same school... :lol: I was happy... cuz I never took tutions from anyone for school courses!

From that day I never trust anyone except my family-members who have been very supportive throughout my life...

One thing is sure... Never expect from anyone... Less emotions, live longer!

Originally Posted by itsmemad

I was in class 11th... One friend of mine(from class 1) betrayed me in 1st sem exams... He was taking tutions from our Chemistry teacher who told him each & every question that was about to come next day... My friend who had assured me earlier that he'll share all the information with me, refused to divulge the details when he met me at our hang-out place afterwards... I still remember that chilly night when he told me very confidently that "Sir hasn't given me any hints about the paper tomorrow"... I knew by a look at his eyes that he was lying...

My doubt was confirmed later when the results came out & he scored 86 in Chemistry! And failed miserably in all the other 4 subjects...

His result created a furore in the School among teachers & students... A new rule was introduced by the principal... That no teacher can give tutions privately to any student of same school... :lol: I was happy... cuz I never took tutions from anyone for school courses!

From that day I never trust anyone except my family-members who have been very supportive throughout my life...

One thing is sure... Never expect from anyone... Less emotions, live longer!

Oh! finally the great Maddy is here with his experience
Maddy after reading your experience, I can understand how you would felt at that time; whole day doing masti thinking that by the end of the day, you'll have all the question with you for tommorow's exam and you end up with peanuts; I tell you this made my remind of the similar practice in my school too. Later on when the weeker students came up with good marks, our teachers (who were giving tutions and secret question) got the bad reportcards from the principal for themselves.

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

If we want these expectations can make our life beautiful but than one shud make it very clear to the other person tht wht he/she expects from them n vice versa....than things wud b transperant n relations clear....!!!!!

I must tell you aaka..yesterday when I mentioned my views about expectations, I forgot to mention what you did..today when I logged in I came to this thread to edit my comment and add this transperancy thing..but I forgot about great aakasha who can read people

On the serious note, I totally agree with you, If you'll expect something from your partner/friend and keeps those within you then you definetely gonna blast out some day if those were not fullfilled. I know it will be more fun and joy if those expectation are fulfilled without sharing with each other, but the chances are less. and we have discussed the mantra before - Be Practical

Originally Posted by itsmemad

I was in class 11th... One friend of mine(from class 1) betrayed me in 1st sem exams... He was taking tutions from our Chemistry teacher who told him each & every question that was about to come next day... My friend who had assured me earlier that he'll share all the information with me, refused to divulge the details when he met me at our hang-out place afterwards... I still remember that chilly night when he told me very confidently that "Sir hasn't given me any hints about the paper tomorrow"... I knew by a look at his eyes that he was lying...

My doubt was confirmed later when the results came out & he scored 86 in Chemistry! And failed miserably in all the other 4 subjects...

His result created a furore in the School among teachers & students... A new rule was introduced by the principal... That no teacher can give tutions privately to any student of same school... :lol: I was happy... cuz I never took tutions from anyone for school courses!

From that day I never trust anyone except my family-members who have been very supportive throughout my life...

One thing is sure... Never expect from anyone... Less emotions, live longer!

MADZ i dont think sooo this was nything major tht wud make u learn.....n if it made u learn.....than its really gr8! I mean in school things aint taken seriously.....n if u did.....damn lucky u.....!!!! btw i kno instances where in u had other experiences as well.....when u were sad....!!!!nyways life always teaches a person......!!!!!

Originally Posted by Manish

I must tell you aaka..yesterday when I mentioned my views about expectations, I forgot to mention what you did..today when I logged in I came to this thread to edit my comment and add this transperancy thing..but I forgot about great aakasha who can read people


damn.....


On the serious note, I totally agree with you, If you'll expect something from your partner/friend and keeps those within you then you definetely gonna blast out some day if those were not fullfilled. I know it will be more fun and joy if those expectation are fulfilled without sharing with each other, but the chances are less. and we have discussed the mantra before - Be Practical

oye.....manish...first of all.....my names aashaka....!!!!! or maybe if its long to write....aashu is also fine....but atleast not aaka n aakasha......my goodness....!!!!

well yes i agree wid the MANTRA but no matter wat ....we all r humans n we all down the line wud get senti, emotional n above all there is a factor of attachment as well......!!!!! LIFE makes u learn all.....!!!!!