India Broadband Forum

panchabhut

In my family (both parental and maternal side), mine was the first "arranged" marriage in 50 years. So seen a lot of love marriages and resultant couples, including my parents (they got married some 46 years ago) and also gone through an arranged one.

But at the end, all marriages are arranged, either by Self or by Family. "Love" and "Marriage" are two different cups of tea. Marriage requires commitment, adjustment and compatibility. Whether its self arranged or family arranged its essential to ensure that there is adequate compatibility, between the partners, between the girl and the boy's family, between the boy and the girl's family. Also, its also important to have patience and understanding and also the willingness to adjust. Otherwise, once the initial honeymoon period is over, the conflicts start. Its one thing to be all love-crazy in the best dress and mood, its a completely different proposition to face the same person in their or your worst mood and state.

Marriage, whether self-arranged or family -arranged, has only one enemy. And that is EGO (with capital E). I have seen people getting married after 5-6 years of courtship getting divorced within 2 years and also people who have met only a month prior to marriage having a happy married life.

The family works as the support system. To my knowledge, most of the people who had ran away to get married ended up getting divorced within 5 years. Most probably because they lack this support system. Even if they remain together, when they themselves become a parent, particularly if that of a girl, they always remain in the mortal fear of history repeating itself. So if you really love someone and want to be "together for ever" make sure to introduce that person to your family and make him/her feel a part of your family even before you propose. Likewise you should also be a part of his/her family. Every parent in the world wants to see their children be happy. And marriage is the biggest thing that is to happen to their child. So there is no reason for them to disagree with their children's chosen partner, as long as they feel its the right person.

p.s.
One of my friends once said that its always advisable to marry the person who loves you most rather than the person whom you love. Sounds selfish, but coming to think of it, seems to be quite a sensible thing to do.

padnar

I am a middle age woman . I love my husband but at this stage we look for companionship and love which I receive and that is not my question. My question is those who marry for love do they hear thunder as romantic books say or what is the feelings ?
I am sorry I was busy with my script and now i intend to post more and communicate with fellow Indians
padma