Thread: Love/Love Marriage in India

Love is the most wonderful thing ever happened on this earth. It’s such a wonderful and unexplainable feeling. I am telling this from this my own experience & people who are in love will also agree with me. Everybody should fall in love. Everybody has the right to fall in love.

Hosh Valon Ko Khabar Kya Bekhudi Kya Cheez Hai
Ishq Kije Phir Samajhiye Zindagi Kya Cheez Hai

It means “You will know what life is after you fall in love.

But our society is still not that open to love/love marriages.

It’s mostly found/seen that the girls’ family is the one who oppose the love marriage than the guy’s family.

There are several reasons why parents don’t agree to love marriage like: The girl/guy is of different caste/religion/status.

As I said earlier it mainly the girl’s family that opposes the love marriage.
May be the girl’s family feel insecure, they don’t about the much about the guy, they feel that the guy will not keep the girl properly. May be they feel that their daughter is not that grown enough to search a right partner. Or is it the ego of the parents like “How can you select the guy? We are here to find a good guy for you…..

A close relative of mine. Their daughter ran away & got married. They were totally broken. I couldn’t see them in that condition. How could you ever thing of hurting your parents so much. Isn’t it selfishness to just think about yourself & not about your parents?
Is it that easy to leave your parents whom you know for years for a guy/girl whom you just know for few months/years

Everybody has the right to love & at the same it’s their duty to convince their parents. You got to convince your parents. Running away & getting married is the worst thing. What if after so much of convincing, the parents still don’t agree? What to do next? I myself dunno…..Because I have never been in such situation.

Many of my friends are in love & I keep telling them that please don’t run away and get married. Get your parents permission; if they don’t agree then convince them till they agree.

When there are no options, is running away & getting married the only solution?

Next coming to love @ first sight. I dunno how people fall in love at the first sight. I do not believe this. It must be “Lust @ the first sight. You see a beautiful girl. Her external appearance is the first thing that attracts you. Isn’t it. You say to yourself “Oh!!! What a girl…” , “She is really beautiful….”. If there’s any other thing please share it.

Just seeing a girl/guy how can you decide that she/he is your life partner.
For buying a mobile phone or a PC or a laptop or a dress you do so much research. You ask many people for suggestions, ideas, etc. Even if you have bought a wrong item, it can be replaced or repaired. Don’t you think the same thing applies while choosing a life partner also?

Coming to what is the right age to fall in love. There’s no age to fall in love. But before you fall in love you must know what love is. It’s not just going to movie, beach, holding hands, etc. It’s more than that. It’s about affection. It’s about understanding. It’s about being honest. You can keep on telling…

So, what does love mean to you….

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."

- Jules Renard

Originally Posted by dhaneshv

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
- Jules Renard

Well thats his (Jules Renard) view. Whats your view?

Originally Posted by Rameshjeee

Well thats his (Jules Renard) view. Whats your view?

Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.

Originally Posted by Rameshjeee

It’s mostly found/seen that the girls’ family is the one who oppose the love marriage than the guy’s family.

Agreed , coz girls stand to a lot to lose more than guys do, due to the discrimination in our society.

Their daughter ran away & got married. They were totally broken. I couldn’t see them in that condition.

Is it that easy to leave your parents whom you know for years for a guy/girl whom you just know for few months/years.

Yea , it happened in my college too. The gal's dad practically begged to talk to her. It was a moving sight indeed , however not knowing the situation in their house I couldn't judge the situation.

Its a known fact that there many places in India , where a girl has no rights , no joys , and everything in her life is decided by somebody else.
Eg: DDLJ

But obviously not all people can be convinced to accept love marriage, there are people who standby certain principles, and would'nt bugde even if their life depended on it.

In such cases I am fully in favor of eloping, however difficult it maybe for the family.

When there are no options, is running away & getting married the only solution?

No, its one of the options. Other would be to sacrife your love for the sake of your family.

Next coming to love @ first sight. I dunno how people fall in love at the first sight. I do not believe this. It must be “Lust @ the first sight. You see a beautiful girl. Her external appearance is the first thing that attracts you. Isn’t it.

Just seeing a girl/guy how can you decide that she/he is your life partner.
For buying a mobile phone or a PC or a laptop or a dress you do so much research. You ask many people for suggestions, ideas, etc. Even if you have bought a wrong item, it can be replaced or repaired. Don’t you think the same thing applies while choosing a life partner also?

Coming to what is the right age to fall in love. There’s no age to fall in love. But before you fall in love you must know what love is. It’s not just going to movie, beach, holding hands, etc. It’s more than that. It’s about affection. It’s about understanding. It’s about being honest. You can keep on telling…

Maybe possible, i really have no idea about that. Well for one , you watch an Advt. of an mobile and decide to buy it no matter what, consider this like that !

So, what does love mean to you….

Love is an feeling which completes your life, fulfills all your desires, you feel like you have everything you need in your life. Your mind is filled with joy, your sorrow fades away.... that is love.

Again a controversial topic .......!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Rameshjeee

Love is the most wonderful thing ever happened on this earth. It’s such a wonderful and unexplainable feeling. I am telling this from this my own experience & people who are in love will also agree with me. Everybody should fall in love. Everybody has the right to fall in love.

Hosh Valon Ko Khabar Kya Bekhudi Kya Cheez Hai
Ishq Kije Phir Samajhiye Zindagi Kya Cheez Hai

It means “You will know what life is after you fall in love.

But our society is still not that open to love/love marriages.


I second tht......! our society since past couple of years ve definately opened up to love marriages!!!!!
It’s mostly found/seen that the girls’ family is the one who oppose the love marriage than the guy’s family.

Not Always!

There are several reasons why parents don’t agree to love marriage like: The girl/guy is of different caste/religion/status.

As I said earlier it mainly the girl’s family that opposes the love marriage.
May be the girl’s family feel insecure, they don’t about the much about the guy, they feel that the guy will not keep the girl properly. May be they feel that their daughter is not that grown enough to search a right partner. Or is it the ego of the parents like “How can you select the guy? We are here to find a good guy for you…..


Well ofcourse any girl's parents wudnt want her to be unhappy in the future....! its the girl who has to leave her house, her parent n adjust to the new atmospere....!!!! neither a guy or girl's parents want them to ruin their future.....with a wrong person its a decision of lifetime...!!! n no one better than ur parent finding a guy n u selecting n knowing em n than finalising...!!! my personal point of view....may differ...!!!!

A close relative of mine. Their daughter ran away & got married. They were totally broken. I couldn’t see them in that condition. How could you ever thing of hurting your parents so much. Isn’t it selfishness to just think about yourself & not about your parents?
Is it that easy to leave your parents whom you know for years for a guy/girl whom you just know for few months/years

Everybody has the right to love & at the same it’s their duty to convince their parents. You got to convince your parents. Running away & getting married is the worst thing. What if after so much of convincing, the parents still don’t agree? What to do next? I myself dunno…..Because I have never been in such situation.

Many of my friends are in love & I keep telling them that please don’t run away and get married. Get your parents permission; if they don’t agree then convince them till they agree.

When there are no options, is running away & getting married the only solution?

Well thts not the solution but at times parents act rigid n than guy n girl ve to take steps like this....!!! i ve seen in my frens circle divorces...in the same caste as well as amazing chemistry n love in intercaste n vice versa...!!!! I would say in todays gen a guy n girl r usually by age of 21 matured enuf to take decisions.....so y spoil it.....if there r small reasons...!!!

Next coming to love @ first sight. I dunno how people fall in love at the first sight. I do not believe this. It must be “Lust @ the first sight. You see a beautiful girl. Her external appearance is the first thing that attracts you. Isn’t it. You say to yourself “Oh!!! What a girl…” , “She is really beautiful….”. If there’s any other thing please share it.

Just seeing a girl/guy how can you decide that she/he is your life partner.
For buying a mobile phone or a PC or a laptop or a dress you do so much research. You ask many people for suggestions, ideas, etc. Even if you have bought a wrong item, it can be replaced or repaired. Don’t you think the same thing applies while choosing a life partner also?

Coming to what is the right age to fall in love. There’s no age to fall in love. But before you fall in love you must know what love is. It’s not just going to movie, beach, holding hands, etc. It’s more than that. It’s about affection. It’s about understanding. It’s about being honest. You can keep on telling…

So, what does love mean to you….

love @ first sight is the most craziest thing i ve heard atleast n its usually not possible.....its only the outer looks tht appeals....!!!!!

Love to me is a lot of things ......not only finding the right guy, but loving my parents, loving my frens, n lots more....!!!!!

Acc to me.... shud spread love everywhr......ny kind of relationship it is....love is mandatory!!!!

How about talking about love and life partners seperately?

Love at first site doesnt really mean you have decided to spend the rest of your life with the person youve fallen in love with.

Should you really be talking about love and marriage in the same sentence?

Try thinking about these two things seperately for once and everything will start falling in place on its own

In the Indian context there is a lot of (even too much) stress on religion, caste, creed, class, culture, society (in short biradari). That is why there is an opposition to love marriage especially if and when there is polarity in any of the above.

Secondly, the parents decide that it is not only their responsibility to get their children married but it is their divine right to choose the partners of their (parents') choice. There is an inherent fear that the son-in-law or daughter-in-law will not treat them with 'respect' after the event. When their offsprings decide on their own, they feel that their authority has been challenged.

Regarding "Love at first sight". This does not mean "Lust at first sight". People do fall in love at first sight. This happens when the opposite member happens to be a perfect compliment of your own personality. Whether this results into a long term relationship depends upon many factors which are too many to list. But 90% of the times, this is usually a one-way street.

As Admin said, Love does not necessarily result into a Marriage.

Originally Posted by Admin

How about talking about love and life partners seperately?

Love at first site doesnt really mean you have decided to spend the rest of your life with the person youve fallen in love with.

Should you really be talking about love and marriage in the same sentence?

Try thinking about these two things seperately for once and everything will start falling in place on its own

hmmmm now i neeed to think...!!!! obviosuly....loving some one and that can end up in a marriage or not is totally on GOD !!!

Originally Posted by just4kix

In the Indian context there is a lot of (even too much) stress on religion, caste, creed, class, culture, society (in short biradari). That is why there is an opposition to love marriage especially if and when there is polarity in any of the above.

Secondly, the parents decide that it is not only their responsibility to get their children married but it is their divine right to choose the partners of their (parents') choice. There is an inherent fear that the son-in-law or daughter-in-law will not treat them with 'respect' after the event. When their offsprings decide on their own, they feel that their authority has been challenged.

Regarding "Love at first sight". This does not mean "Lust at first sight". People do fall in love at first sight. This happens when the opposite member happens to be a perfect compliment of your own personality. Whether this results into a long term relationship depends upon many factors which are too many to list. But 90% of the times, this is usually a one-way street.

As Admin said, Love does not necessarily result into a Marriage.

ofcourse its their responsibilty plus thy want to c their chirldren happily settled...!its not only about the respect factor but there are lots of things.....

love @ first sight or lust @ first sight all depends on a persons personal views. i agree on it being one sided thingy.....

I ve my own personal experience on it.....being on a mariageable age or rather say finally agreeing on getting married has made my parents soo damn happy....!!! i totally trust their decisions for the guy thy ll select for me wud be as per my choice to the best family n everything since my parents kno me in n out...totally....!!!! I also had made mistakes or rather was in love but than the life style tht i live n the back ground n the person i m definately wud result into issues....for sure...!!!! n i m soo thank ful to my dad specially who explained me...tht the person i m....i wont b able to cope with guys lifestyle n family....!!!1 still for once thy agreed tht if i think i can cope with it...than definately thy ll get me married....even my close buddies explained me things....

I mean my parents ve been wid me thru my life... been wid me in all the happy n sad moments....n i go to my dad first everytime i ve good bad any situations.....!!!! thy ve made me happy always ....neva given a second thought....no matter wht i do....even if at times i realise i m wrong but thy let me learn when req. !!!! all i m tryin to say is atleast in my case i rely on my parents to find love of my life....!!!! my parents r soo open minded n cool tht thy dont ve issues wid love marriage also.....like my brothers got a gf....but @ the end...its like a girl has to leave her place n go sumwhr.....its always difficult for girl n parents....n its good to be caustious as well!!!!

At the end...be it love or marriage everyone arnd u....wants u to b happy....!!!!

as admin said it is really not necessary that love will result in marriage, i am still not sure that if i am single or double may be will comment sometime later but yes love and marriage are 2 different things.

as rameshjee said "say what you think about love and marriage" so here is something
Love is something which should come up automatically like an auto assigned IP Address and arrange marriage is something like Forced IP address.

we are developing now and trust me in most of the cases this love marriage really works coz you really know that what makes your partner happy and what is a turn off for him/her, where in arrange marriage you never get that much of time to understand your partner or to know what his/her likes are

as rameshjee said Lust@first site so you need to agree that if you love someone you really get that feeling in any case, i would like to say that feeling is pious and pure where you just try to explore your partner and where you simply try to love or appereciate body of your partner and trust if someone say that NO NO i never get that feeling or NO NO i never feel like that or i don't want to make out with my partner then that person is a liar otherwise he/she may need to see a good doctor.

Just seeing a girl/guy how can you decide that she/he is your life partner
it is a feeling which comes up in mind or heart, which your don't get for every second girl, so it is really very much possible to fall in love on first sight.

Ok Ok people i am really not a love guru or something, so will try to shut up now and will wait for elders to say something and some words from our own love guru itsmemad

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

Love is something which should come up automatically like an auto assigned IP Address and arrange marriage is something like Forced IP address.

Yea, like for love u can disconnect and reconnect anytime u want whereas with arranged marriage , its like static ip -- ur stuck with it, unless you want to pay for another ip.

:lol:

Originally Posted by Rameshjeee

But our society is still not that open to love/love marriages.

It’s mostly found/seen that the girls’ family is the one who oppose the love marriage than the guy’s family.
.

Yes Ramseh, But that is not only reason several reason is in behind for that. Specially parents are always believe that love is a emotional think not practical they think in arrange marriage they will make decision after thinking thousand times and with the lot of comparison. Now in case of girls family this thinking is very prominent because they feel girls is taking that decision(marriage) emotionally and how can she adjust(status, culture) after marriage and obviously in Indian society they feel if a girl make a mistake then she has to face lots of problem than boys .
I think some times parents are wrong sometimes right but what ever be when daughter/son are adult enough family should show some respect with the decision of them.

I have a bad experience on love. I think it is waste of time and there can never be an ideal soul.

Originally Posted by manojjonam10

I have a bad experience on love. I think it is waste of time and there can never be an ideal soul.

Don't lose heart mate. There are both good and bad things in this world. Its upto you to make a carefull choice.

I think the poor guy is a hurt pigeon which is thinking that his wings have fallen.:35:

Cheer up man.

Wings have not fallen.
Look back.:angel:

Originally Posted by manojjonam10

I have a bad experience on love. I think it is waste of time and there can never be an ideal soul.

Don't end up with a conclusion mate, you never know what's there on the next page

Might be destiny wants you to wait, and get the best

i totally agree wid manish.....!!! u neva kno.....u might again find love.....

Hi,
I am a new comer in this site.
So firstly i want to say hello to all.
I am Lillian.
26 years old girl living in USA.
I am an accountant in an multinational company.
Now i am tired about my life.
I support that after marriage love is reliable and hygienic.
I need a life partner who love me lot and take my responsibility
who is also a good person.
I had many friend in this country but they all are fake.
They just know how to enjoy!
They don't know how to love any one.
I feel lonely and i feel sick mentally sometimes!!!!!!!
Oh loneliness !!!!!!!!
What i can do.
If any one who is good and responsible
Want to live with me and also love me lot that i not got in my
life.
Pls contact to me.

Welcome to this board Lillian.

Where in US are you?

-F

p.s Hope you are genuine and not a prank or spammer ;-)

@lillian

You shouldn't be posting your e-mail id here.
It will be removed by the mods soon.

hey lilian...welcome..

looking @ ur post i feel u ve logged on to this forum in search of a guy....! its not a social networking website......!!! nywhich ways....looking @ farce's post hez kinda interested.....lol.....rofl...!!! no hard feelings m8!!!!

LOL

Go Farce go...

yea....adminji wud give u her personal mail address which has been deleted here ....

wht say adminji?

So Farce is immigrating to USA?

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

hey lilian...welcome..

looking @ ur post i feel u ve logged on to this forum in search of a guy....! its not a social networking website......!!! nywhich ways....looking @ farce's post hez kinda interested.....lol.....rofl...!!! no hard feelings m8!!!!

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

yea....adminji wud give u her personal mail address which has been deleted here ....

wht say adminji?

:lol: :lol: :lol: