Thread: Smoking Issue

Well i recently came to know of a recent problem that my friend had with her husband, well its still kind of going on, and i just wanted to know from others what the outcome of each person should be.

My friends husband, smokes, she doesn't want him to due to his health problems (and after smoking he has felt bad in health) and other personal reasons for having a family! But her husband seems to promise everyday to quit then all of a sudden gets ready goes out of the house for a smoke!
My friend not telling her husband her feelings (cause he will think its just blackmail) gets really upset and what the husband doesn't notice is gets his wife really wound up and this sometimes the cause of her being in a bad mood!

She has tried all ways to stop him, he comes with some excuse because its this or that, but he carries on!

My friend so pissed off thinks she should start smoking too, if you cant make them stop, why not join them she said!

In a way i think she is right what she has said, but im a bit confused, what do u guys make out of this!

This is a tough one. He has to want to quit genuinely.
If he is not 100% committed to quit there's no way,
becauase even for people who want to quit 100% it
is difficult.

Has your friend suggested getting professional help?
there must be some organizations or 12 step programs?

Do they have children? Then you can convince him
how difficult it would be for his kids to grow up without
a father when he dies of lung cancer.

-F

god that lung cancer thing was harsh, but true!

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

My friend so pissed off thinks she should start smoking too, if you cant make them stop, why not join them she said!

This is kiddish!!!!

well ramesh, ive seen the way she is, and its quite bad especially if your with your life partner and hes going the wrong way about it to make his health worse! Sometimes i think the only way to show someone what it feels like, is to the same what they do!

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

well ramesh, ive seen the way she is, and its quite bad especially if your with your life partner and hes going the wrong way about it to make his health worse! Sometimes i think the only way to show someone what it feels like, is to the same what they do!

Well, may be you are right. Unless we are in such a situation, we can't say anything. But what your friend thinks may not bring a solution.

& about quiting smoking, unless that guy thinks of quiting he cant.

This is very common problem simple remedy she has to tell her husband regularly when ever he smoke (with politely and never fade up) but yes if her husband is not 100% committed to quit then it's very difficult but she don't have any other option also.(i think second option what you said that's really childish and pessimistic).I hope it will work but it will take some times.

its time to take extreme actions dear

supply some info about the guys character and personality, i ll suggest some stuff based on that, i need to know how much he can handle

Some time back i had heard that there are chewing gums which provide similar sensation to the thing smokers crave for, this can help in reducing the need to depend on cigars.

Agreed its very very difficult for smokers to quit their habit, i'd suggest the same thing as what farce said.

Whatever be the issue its not correct for your friend to to start smoking coz its not the solution but yet another problem, i hope you will try your best to discourage her.

Well I don't smoke and I don't know, what it takes to quit.
On a lighter vein, I think this guy needs to watch NO SMOKING by Anurag Kashyap.This film is quite educative without becoming too preachy.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

well ramesh, ive seen the way she is, and its quite bad especially if your with your life partner and hes going the wrong way about it to make his health worse! Sometimes i think the only way to show someone what it feels like, is to the same what they do!

Thats dangerous ! it ll only encourage him to not quit smoking ......

And if both mother and father smoke think about their children !

Quitting this habit is very difficult .... and i have friends who have 'tried' to quit.... Unless he has the patience and self control of a saint he cant quit on his own and needs to seek help from some one or some 'quit smoking' organization ......
Quitting all by himself without any guidance/help/support is close to impossible ....

Originally Posted by sb21pro

its time to take extreme actions dear

supply some info about the guys character and personality, i ll suggest some stuff based on that, i need to know how much he can handle

Yeh ur right Eddy, although i didn't really say anything to her, cause i don't have many friends who smoke who don't really know what its like!

I think her only reason for starting is not so that she can also join in, but she knows he doesn't like smoking himself, but its like a habbit (although he is not a chain smoker), so she thinks if she at least tries one or two he will be encouraged to quit. But i don't know what to say to this in detail cause like i said i dont know of many people who smoke and have tried quitting!

Whichever way u put it its a very bad idea ...... Thats how ppl get addicted

Quitting smoking is next to impossible. It is an addiction that just gets deep rooted into the system.

There are nicotine patches that may help. Nicotine patches are extremely expensive and the smoker may just feel that smoking is way cheaper - well, it isn't in the long run but people cannot see the long term.

But the problem with nicotine patches is that it is just replacing the cigarette nicotine with a substitute. So once someone stops the patches, it is easy to relapse.

Nothing but the deepest self desire can make a person quit. And 'gradual cutting down' does not work at all. One has to quit all at once immediately. The person also needs a constant companion who is more strong willed and who is able to enforce a discipline on the smoker. Such a person will be able to exercise restraint during the early withdrawal symptoms.

So while it is almost next to impossible, it can work.

well said just4kix even i am trying my best to quit smoking but still after a beer the urge comes up :sad:
Today i smoked 2 ciggs only and tomorrow i will try to manage with 1 only

The person also needs a constant companion who is more strong willed and who is able to enforce a discipline on the smoker.

Golden words just4kix, trust me this is true

j4k,vibes although I don't know about 'Nicotine patches' and also I don't know how hard task to quit smoking(i am not smoker so i can't realize that) but i have friend who was a chain smoker(2-3 years ago) and he is my one of the best friend(since from childhood) so i can't quit, every time i tell him to quit smoking but at first he used to said "it's impossible" i watch after a year he told me he was trying to quit at that point he never smoke in front of me and main thing is when he come he used to stay for 7-10 days in my house at that period he never smoke.In that way he got some initial break which help him to change his habit and within 8-10 month he can completely quit smoking.In this couple of year i always explain him why smoking is injurious(i know that being a literate person he knows everything but still when it discuss it make some another impact) and constantly tell him to quit smoking (politely and never fade up otherwise he could avoid me) but still I believe he can quit smoking because of his determination and commitment.

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

well said just4kix even i am trying my best to quit smoking but still after a beer the urge comes up :sad:

You have the solution right there. Stop drinking beer

-F

well i agree to some extent with j4k that if one wants to quit he has to quit in one go...but thts like almost next to impossible....i ve had frens who ve quit smoking slowly n gradually over a period of time...say 4-12 months....but there has always been a nagging n a lot of understnd gone to get em out of this ...!! also, thy genuinely wanted to quit....!

also, preeti ur frens husbands social circle or office colleagues might b smokin soo seeing them around may ve aroused his want of smoking...!!!

it would be stupid of ur fren to start smoking as its no point n wud also ve an adverse effect on their kids....if thy ve!

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

well i agree to some extent with j4k that if one wants to quit he has to quit in one go...but thts like almost next to impossible....i ve had frens who ve quit smoking slowly n gradually over a period of time...say 4-12 months....but there has always been a nagging n a lot of understnd gone to get em out of this ...!! also, thy genuinely wanted to quit....!

also, preeti ur frens husbands social circle or office colleagues might b smokin soo seeing them around may ve aroused his want of smoking...!!!

it would be stupid of ur fren to start smoking as its no point n wud also ve an adverse effect on their kids....if thy ve!

thats a good point ..... Friends do have an impact , they may encourage or deter the habit

Originally Posted by farce

You have the solution right there. Stop drinking beer

-F

Farce to the rescue

Originally Posted by farce

You have the solution right there. Stop drinking beer

-F

what are you saying farce hmy:

“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

i agree.....!

nywhich ways its not necessary tht u need to smoke once u ve ur beer or drinks.....ur will power shud work here....! or maybe there shud b some kinda motivation for u to not smoke.....

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

well said just4kix even i am trying my best to quit smoking but still after a beer the urge comes up :sad:
Today i smoked 2 ciggs only and tomorrow i will try to manage with 1 only

Golden words just4kix, trust me this is true

dont drink beer then!

Originally Posted by aashaka_gandhi

well i agree to some extent with j4k that if one wants to quit he has to quit in one go...but thts like almost next to impossible....i ve had frens who ve quit smoking slowly n gradually over a period of time...say 4-12 months....but there has always been a nagging n a lot of understnd gone to get em out of this ...!! also, thy genuinely wanted to quit....!

also, preeti ur frens husbands social circle or office colleagues might b smokin soo seeing them around may ve aroused his want of smoking...!!!

it would be stupid of ur fren to start smoking as its no point n wud also ve an adverse effect on their kids....if thy ve!

yeh that's a point, i understand what all u guys are saying about her staring having a bad habit of it herself, but i dont know how serious she was about this, maybe she was too pissed off, i dont know, but i didnt say much to her apart from saying talk to her husband!

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

dont drink beer then!

That idea was dismissed when I suggested it a few posts back

-F

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

yeh that's a point, i understand what all u guys are saying about her staring having a bad habit of it herself, but i dont know how serious she was about this, maybe she was too pissed off, i dont know, but i didnt say much to her apart from saying talk to her husband!

Ask her to tell her husband that she feels
like she's kissing an ashtray....

-F

Originally Posted by farce

Ask her to tell her husband that she feels
like she's kissing an ashtray....

-F

Rep+

Originally Posted by farce

Ask her to tell her husband that she feels
like she's kissing an ashtray....
-F

:lol:. ha ha.. :lol: