Thread: If its possible?

I met a Russian girl Ekatrina, in mid last year when both of us were having computer course from TCS in Delhi.we lived together for almost six months.and eventually are in love with each other.she understands me and so i do.i told her that i have just cured out of cancer and she says its ok.we just cant live without each other.she is very normal girl.just like any Indian girl is.she is white but in mind she has immense love for India.she says her parents loved India.her father loved ShriDevi and her mother loved Mithun.her grands loved Radj kapoor and Vyaijantimala.
She says that while she got selected for Tour to India her parents were most happy.
The problem is that now we want to be one.i have listed each and every problem she will face in India.from cultural to climatic from people to food.she says she will adjust herself in it.and she really really loves me.she cant live without me.
I am from a bengali Bhramin family.we have high cultural values but my parents are open minded people.this year in july she will take off from her job for a month and meet me.i will show her my place at Nainital.
We are both young.but we know that marriage is not so easy thing to accomplish.its a life long relation.Infact seven life long.but she says she will do everything for me cause she loves me and India.and she really wants to stay in India for all life with Me.
I have a good business doing right now.i run a computer centre.a cyber cafe at hire.two shops in mall road.three boats on daily hire.one small rental cottage in Bhimtal.i am not a poor guy.but i told her that once i had cancer and it may disturb us at any part of life.but she says it wont come up again.
I told her that she is not a princess and she replied that i am not a prince either.i have asked her if she will convert her belief to Hinduism on which she asked me that she wants to be a christian.but she agreed that my children will be brought as Hindus.this is all going in our minds.we dream each night.we talk.online and by messages.every next night.i am engaged to her by soul.and so she is to me.
What should i do?

She cant use eastern and asked me to have one WC.
i hope you guys understand.
please help.its really very serious.

Marry her.

-F

Originally Posted by farce

Marry her.

-F

Friend please do reply with some good reasons too.we are young.we really dont know how to face challenges.

U have mentioned that your parents are open-minded. What is their take on this matter? Have u discussed with them?

Havent discussed about it.but she will come to India and see my parents in mid this year.i want to talk with them that time. But i think they wont create any problem.

Ok. So no problems between the both of u regarding marriage. And no problems will arise in the future with regards to your parents too. So whats the concern? Society?

21 is too young to get married. And how old is she, younger or elder to u?

Originally Posted by cool_techie_tvm

Ok. So no problems between the both of u regarding marriage. And no problems will arise in the future with regards to your parents too. So whats the concern? Society?

21 is too young to get married. And how old is she, younger or elder to u?

nope nope,
we want to get married after i get 25,she is 19 now.two years smaller.she is beautiful and good girl.i think she may have some social problems but while she was in Delhi she never had.and meanwhile less people live in Nainital,

Bad thing to discuss here.but i cant sleep alone now.:-(

Don think that i am a hi fi buddy interested in inter continental marriages.i am too conventional.even i cant myself believe how did this all happen.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

Don think that i am a hi fi buddy interested in inter continental marriages.i am too conventional.even i cant myself believe how did this all happen.

I understand

First I would like to thank you for considering us in helping you to take a decision about your life.

Seeing your profile,looks you are 21 years of age. I would advise you wait for a couple of years for marriage. May be around 24~25.Make sure you are financially, mentally stable for a marital life.

Since you saying that your parents won't be an obstacle in the marriage, then I think there's no issue apart from your age. Just wait for couple of years. Talk to your girlfriend,decide among yourselves that you will marry after 2~3 years.

And after the marriage, you will have to play a very important role in her adjusting to the Indian customs. I hope that you have the temperament, patient in you.

first of all, i must say both of you are very lucky to have found each other. i am feeling very emotional after reading your story. imo - you are too young to get married at this moment. first consult with your parents about the entire matter very seriously. i am sure they will approve your relationship. continue to live together for a few more years. i am sure the bond between the two of you will get stronger only. and marry her after about 2-3 years at most. many relations turn out other ways when streched for too long without marriage. you are very intelligent and capable - this is proved by your well spread business at this young age.

and never let religion come between your relation. both of you should respect each other's religion. never force her to follow hinduism. she is understanding enough. she will herself adapt to hindu norms.

just out of curiosity - are u born and brought up in nainital? u said u belong to a bengali family. that's why i am asking this.

i am adding reps for you to share your feelings with us and letting us advise you.

Yes its actually i was born in a city called Haldwani which comes up in Distt Nainital.my Grandpa arrived there in mid 50s while he was transfered from Agra to Kanpur and than Haldwani in Railways.
My parents were born in Varanasi(really both of them)and my Father is almost eight years older to Maa. My father with his siblings were all raised in Haldwani,than we finally settled in Nainital which is district headquaters.

Are you guys going to be together or apart? This is a very
important consideration. If you are going to wait till 25 then
that's another 4 years. Long distance relationships (if she
is in Russia and you in Nainital) is going to be very difficult.

-F

I just cant live without her anymore.i am just living anyways.you may understand.calling a person in Russia is too costly too.around 9.10/-min on bsnl prepaid.i have disc landline fron bsnl on which it was 6/- min.everything is very very killing.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

I just cant live without her anymore.i am just living anyways.you may understand.calling a person in Russia is too costly too.around 9.10/-min on bsnl prepaid.i have disc landline fron bsnl on which it was 6/- min.everything is very very killing.

will she be living in russia till u marry? i dont know - but in that case - both of you should consider living together in india itself for a few years before marriage. such distances over a long period of time can be problematic in even the best of relations.

Originally Posted by farce

Long distance relationships (if she
is in Russia and you in Nainital) is going to be very difficult.
-F

thats going to be the test of a true love...No Pain No Gain....

She is coming in mid this year.i don know how to introduce her to parents and also tell her that she is here for me,total $#!tt¥

Originally Posted by mail2sc

She is coming in mid this year.i don know how to introduce her to parents and also tell her that she is here for me,total $#!tt¥

I would suggest that you talk to your parents about your relation before she arrives here in India. Be prepared for everything. Hope you will be successful in convincing your parents.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

She is coming in mid this year.i don know how to introduce her to parents and also tell her that she is here for me,total $#!tt¥

Don't just surprise your parents after she comes. Start talking to
them now. You said they were open, so communicate with them
now and keep them informed. They will understand and support you.

If you spring a surprise and introduce her as your future wife
when she meets them for the first time
it will be more difficult for your parents to handle at that time.
So talk to them now.

-F

Originally Posted by Rameshjeee

thats going to be the test of a true love...No Pain No Gain....

Sometimes true love can also succumb to the ravages of time
and distance. Trust me on this. I've been there done that.

-F

I must appreciate you for doing business at such an young age. Your parents must be really proud of you.

Originally Posted by farce

Don't just surprise your parents after she comes. Start talking to
them now. You said they were open, so communicate with them
now and keep them informed. They will understand and support you.

If you spring a surprise and introduce her as your future wife
when she meets them for the first time
it will be more difficult for your parents to handle at that time.
So talk to them now.

-F



Sometimes true love can also succumb to the ravages of time
and distance. Trust me on this. I've been there done that.

-F

yes its really a good suggestion by you.indeed they can think about her who is she.and they may think bad about her.but i am very introvert.i don know really how to do this.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

yes its really a good suggestion by you.indeed they can think about her who is she.and they may think bad about her.but i am very introvert.i don know really how to do this.

I understand. Sometimes Indian parents are not easy to talk to.
But this is important. You have to talk to your parents. Just tell
them about your experiences during your TCS training and a
couple of days later start telling about different people who
attended it. Then a couple of days later tell them about
this Russian girl who was in that training. and then go on from there...

I really wish the best for you and your future wife.

-F

Ask her to send you a birthday card or other greeting.
Not email or online but a physical card that comes
to your house and catches your parents eyes. That
should break the ice and give you an opportunity
to talk about her.

Some of you guys ,maybe thinking we went beyond that
i am against it.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

Some of you guys ,maybe thinking we went beyond that
i am against it.

What are you talking about? I am not assuming anything more
than what you have typed.

-F

I was talking about $€x before marriage.

Sorry to write this.she is so cute.i want kids.God really knows best ways to give problems to us,poor human beings.

Originally Posted by mail2sc

I was talking about $€x before marriage.

It really doesn't change the situation whether it happened or not.
The issue is how to move forward with your parents and
both of you and what you can to do to make sure you
two end up together.

-F