Thread: Should past be brought up in marriage

There is so much one does in his or her life, and sometimes those things are not such which are good to talk about, sometimes these things can be such that they hurt the partner although they are done unintentionally! Although everything should be open just before marriage, but should these kind of things ever be brought up during the married life.
If the husband does something in married life which the girl done a few years back, is that ok! If the boy isn't doing it intentionally because the girl did it, should the situation some years ago be brought up again and pointed out???

Sometimes you see that misconceptions happen between people, and they stay for a lifetime, and there is no room for explanation, and even things like this get brought up, what would you do then? Like they say sometimes what you do or say makes the other feel something else but what your doing is something else.


--yes I'm getting proposals, so just wanting as much info as i can from you guys and getting your opinions, as its easier to ask a wide range of people than the people who are close to you--

There is no hard and fast rule about what to tell your spouse.

There are certain things that is best kept unmentioned. - Things that might
hurt the relationship or things that the spouse doesn't have the maturity
to accept and things like that.

Then there are things that you can share - like old girlfriends/boyfriends
you are sure you are never going to meet again.

And then there are things you have to tell - things like health issues, etc.

It is just a fly by the seat of your pants kinda thing.

good luck

-F

More important than truth itself, is the semblence of truth.
It does not matter what the truth is but what your partner believes to be the truth. And every person reacts in oh so different manner to the same "truth".
so it all depends on the person, I guess.

It is best not to advertise past relationships. If both are open about it then one may mention it. But my advice is: when people do not know what you have done, they do not know what you have done wrong.

preeti.....

my take on this about talking on ur past good or bad would be after knowing the opposite person.....

i sure w/o knowing tht person u aint gonna tell him a yes to get married right....so the best way is to know him, talk to him, try to talk about ur frens, ur school time, n than once the guy opens up n talks to u....n has a def. liking for u by now...n same goes with you than u talk about ur past relationships specially....good or bad....

again it is on an individual tht he/or she wants to or not.....talk about their past....

good luck with ur search....

Well if you going into a new relationship its good to talk about your past, so that things get cleared out. But when your in a relationship, you should not bring the past in, as it affects your current status are way of life. It will only bring negative energy in and not allow you to move forward. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect and its human to make mistakes, we think that the other has made mistake but we ourselves make them too. Its best to let go of he past and look forward to the present and future, which will make you feel happy, pleasant, and you will guide you to a successful life too.

!st thing is it a discussion board on arranged marriage or love marriage. Cos in love marriages people know each other to understand and to let their partners speak up their minds. Future,present past all have,will have and had their own importance in our life. We can't claim of loving someone if we prefer staying aloof or prefer not listening to the other. Speaking about past not necessarily mean that it might hurt us taking it in positive way it might make our partner feel more comfortable to talk their heart out in front of us that results into building up trust and confidence.