India Broadband Forum

Preeti_20

I have a lot of male friends which i know and I also like making friends which i normally get to know through common friends or just generally. But how acceptable would this be for my future hubby, I mean is it ok with him. If I was to make more male friends after marriage would he let me talk to them or chat to them. I don't have a problem if he was to do that or if he does as its natural to do so.
But there are some husbands who think its ok if they talk to girls and their wife cant, which makes me think why cant i do whatever he does.

Sometimes the way two people grow up is different, i was a tomboyish when younger and so get better on with boys, say if my husband wasn't the type to flirt around or hang around with girls, then he may not understand, and even take me the wrong way as if i was having some kind of affair!

Do you think a wife can do whatever her husband can do?

For those guys who are married and others who can give good enough answers is it ok to do this after marriage? And of course views from the girls too!

masaladosa

Depends on the husband I guess.

Preeti_20

yeh it does, but on a general how would you consider it, would you let your wife talk to other guys, either if you are talking to other girls or not talking to other girls

mickey

^^^ hmmm...

you must marry Princessa Bourbona..

i see you are quiet interested in marriage, relations, love etc...why not give it a try??

so many ppl married but not one died naturally, if you are fake, than one cant help but genuine lovers are best in all parts of life...

you will surely get a good husband..for that be optimistic..

itsmemad

Look at it other way round... Husbands are possessive about their partner... Thats why they don't like when their spouse talk to other males... Its not because they don't trust you... Its cuz they don't trust members from their own clan... They just want to protect you... Nothing else...

Since you said that you were tomboyish and so you know how to tackle male fraternity... Ofcourse u can talk to other males after marriage... But you should first try to convince your husband that you are a smart woman... You can't get carried away... You aren't vulnerable... It may take some time... But its worth it...

For a guy, a wife is a prized possession for his entire life... His pride is at stake... And they don't wanna lose it at any cost to a crook...

For your second question "Do you think a wife can do whatever her husband can do?"- My answer is please don't ever try to compete with ur partner... and never allow him to compete with you either... Thats when ego clashes & u hurt urself...

Preeti_20

a wife a prized possession , i find it hard to believe, well i know im no prized possession for anyone! If i got married and then down the lie i died, no one would give two shits not even my husband!

There are some who say the lovely dovey stuff and then even impose to others that their single, and some even ashamed to pictures of themselves with their wife not their profiles! My second cousin is like that to his wife!

mickey

yes i am with maddy...husbands(Indians mostly) are protective and possesive for thier wives,..

and why just wife, they are possesive for the females they are related to...so thats a way..

masaladosa

Wow!!!

A Picasso painting is a prized possession
A Ming dynasty vase is a prized possession
A 3 carat diamond ring is a prized posession

A wife is definitely not. Don't equate a human being with property.

Punch Farce

Do you have even one normal non-disfunctional friend or relative?

-F

itsmemad

I don't agree... After spending so many yrs with a woman, husbands develop feelings for her...

My maasi expired couple of years back... Her husband went into deep sorrow... And his health deteriorated rapidly... He passed away 1 yr later...

Men are like coconut... Hard from outside... But softer inside...

masaladosa

This is not heathy Preeti. Please seek professional help. Seriously I am
not making fun of you. I think this attitude will affect your future.

itsmemad

No need to seek professional help alone... But yes, there is no harm in going for few counseling sessions with ur prospective husband just before marriage... I know many couples who have done it... Even in love marriage... It helps both...

I'll definitely go for it even if I marry my girlfriend...

Preeti_20

i dont need dosa boy! LOL
im thinking as in front of me ive seen a lot failed marriages and this scares me, i dont want to go into something which will depress me or make me feel unhappy! What i wrote was meant to say that i need someone who cares for me, not someone who doest give a damn about me!

mickey

yeah...sorry to hear about your Maasi and Mausa...

so we can clearly see that woman are stronger than woman..

i think woman of this age must understand that its not going alone, but a married life with respecting the husband is most important..same applies for woman..but women are physically not stronger like men..(dont be hurt to hear this)

ego probs shall be grounded..and live a life with cheers..

itsmemad

Thats alright...

Well said!

Preeti_20

I do, but i sometimes act as a pessimistic when it comes to marriage maybe because im afraid of it

mickey

^^afraid of what???
as i said earlier, noone died on marriage(naturally)

rupu1983

I think if I consider only your thread name then I can say talking to opposite sex after marriage is quite normal and no problem present in that but one thing which I feel that your thread is very much specific about one husband-wife relationship and for such relationship I can't able to give one generalized answer because such type of relationship is very much sensitive and answer is totally depending on each-every situation.Everybody has their own view about this my personal view is after marriage couple should have one 'limit' to talking or any thing else.
She can
but problem is can anyone change himself/herself just to see her's husband behavior ? because i think people character has developed in their early age it is not easy to change after marriage.

Punch Farce

OK, Here's my view as a married man. Of course I have absolutely no
problem if my wife talks to her male friends from before marriage. I think
it is a matter of trust. I don't think she is going to have an affair or
anything just because she talks to her friends. Of course my experience
is limited because my wife only talks rarely to her friends who are men.

But for some couples this might be an issue. It is my opinion that
this talking to male friends is itself not a major cause, If such things
happen it is symptomatic of a marriage that is already strained.

If a couple has other problems and disagreements, things like this
will show up as an issue.

There is also the amount and frequency that could matter. If a wife
talks to her male friend everyday for many hours then it might
bother the husband.

In addition there are situations where if the wife spends time with
her male friend for other activities then the husband could feel left out.
I used to go with a married female friend to workout a few times a week and
her husband had no problems with that.

Then there are really paranoid people who doubt their spouses
even for innocent things. So like I said before it depends very
much on the person. Talk to your prospective husband freely
and get a feel for his views on this issue.

Hope this helps.

-F

panchabhut

It all depends on how you talk with the opposite sex.
as long as you are speaking on a formal term or on a normal friendly way, no body would mind, at least not one who has grown up in a modern society.
in fact I've become quite friendly with many of my wife's male friends.

but if you are too cosy with the person or talk in hushed tones over phone, naturally your partner is bound to react.