Thread: Poems & Stories by L.S.

In this thread I will be writing poems & created by me. Also I might create a story in future also.

My First Poem:

Paths

Paths I have taken in time long gone,
Paths of mine have brought knowledge of their own.

Will this journey finish before I end,
Will I get what is my aim & ends.

Bringing seclusion these paths to me have,
Bringing serenity these to me also have.

Sometime they bring unfathomable happiness,
Sometime they bring unfathomable sadness.

Seen the other paths that I not took I have,
Seen the other people on these paths I have.

Made me knowledgeable they have,
Made me ignorant they also have.

O Paths ! Am I nearing your end ,
O Paths ! Satisfied will you till my end?

O Creator ! Let me be firm on these paths,
O Creator ! Let me succeed on these paths.

To whom should I pass my gains,
To whom should I pass my pains.


-Luke Skywalker ( A pseudonym)

Note: I have said paths not path as one take many at one time not one.

This or part of this should not be reproduced with acknowledgement that it had been created by Luke Skywalker of IBF. It might have taken 30 minutes to create but I have to pass that emotional state which gave me inspiration to write it. You might not like how I have reached that state. It is too easy to steal other works as your own but when it happens to you , you will know how it feels. I will even sue you for that.

All criticism & praise are encouraged till now. I might change that rule later if I found out that people are trashing this thread.

Good poem Luke Skywalker
anyway you have tried to see the life in your way and also you have tried to put your philosophical angle about life in your poem which is good.
No criticism is needed in your poem because everyone has their own unique way to see each phenomena of the universe you saw the life in your own style that's enough also you have explained it fine way in poem.
You have open few new dimension of life paths that really superb

Thanks. But I wanted to know about my writing style. & there is always room for improvement in style.

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

Thanks. But I wanted to know about my writing style. & there is always room for improvement in style.

You can do it best by yourself
who am I (or we) will interfere in your imagination ?

Its a good one.

reps + ... nice

Nice poem Luke.

This poem is really written in quick & dirty style. Want to know genuinely how it is. I made it in 30 minutes without any appropriate inspiration.

My Fellows

Understanding my fellows started I have,
Understanding them fully I not have.
My fellows too are starting to understand me,
My fellows still not have understand me.

Hurt sometimes I have their feelings,
Hurt sometimes they my feelings.
Prejudices they have of me,
Prejudices that might not be true of me.

Mad I think I made them,
Sad sometime I made them.
Mad I am sometime seeing their comments,
Sad I am sometime seeing their comments.

Change they might see in me,
Change that is understanding in and of me.
Joys I get here which generally I don't
Enjoy my stay at one place which usually I don't.

Hurt I don't want to cause to any one.
Hurt I still have cause many one.
Want to remove I the ignorance at IBF,
Want to see I grow and rise IBF.

Apologize I always have for wrongs I commit,
Apologize for wrongs which I might commit.
I tell you all intentions are what matter always,
I tell you all intentions of mine have been good always.

Luke Skywalker ( A pseudonym)

Same copyright apply here also as in my previous poem.

Nice one luke but i have noticed one thing you follow the aa rhythmic pattern the previous one was completely aa this one is aabb.


P.S. Pending rep

I always try to fix a pattern & number of syllable in a line. But achieving pattern is easier than number of words.

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

I always try to fix a pattern & number of syllable in a line. But achieving pattern is easier than number of words.

Well one piece of advice though i am not good in poetry try not using a fixed pattern any word that comes out can be poetry with proper usage of words even if they are not in rhythmic form.

I'm a noob when it comes to poetry... Wots this aa & aabb?

I just have a suggestion for L.S.... Why don't you use the blog feature of the forum for your poems? I guess that will be a better option...

That is a different style. It takes much practice & time. Will write in that sometime when I have more time. I made this one in break of 60 minutes in which I wrote 2 poems. One of 38 lines which is still unfinished.

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

That is a different style. It takes much practice & time. Will write in that sometime when I have more time. I made this one in break of 60 minutes in which I wrote 2 poems. One of 38 lines which is still unfinished.

i see well will show you few of mine someday. Though i dont post my poetry anywhere except one place.

Originally Posted by itsmemad

I'm a noob when it comes to poetry... Wots this aa & aabb?

I just have a suggestion for L.S.... Why don't you use the blog feature of the forum for your poems? I guess that will be a better option...

My last syllable letter are fixed.
I think people visit threads more than blogs.

Also I don't know much about blog thing. My knowledge of computers in things not related to me is like Sherlock Holmes knowledge of other fields.

Nice Poem L.S.

You wrote them ?:4:

@luke, Kudos. Much promise in you, I see.

However the second poem is a bit of an alliteration.

Originally Posted by meetdilip

You wrote them ?:4:

Yes.

Originally Posted by just4kix

@luke, Kudos. Much promise in you, I see.

However the second poem is a bit of an alliteration.

That's why I say it Quick & dirty style.

Good attempts Luke :thumbup:

I am too novice to comment

My third poem:

Man losing his way:

One day walking under the sun,
My eyes turn towards the sky.
Realise I what observe I don't before,
Saw sky and land without horizon.

Turn my head from corner to corner ,
But successful in seeing a bird I was not.
Where had the birds gone?
Had sky of angels left our land?

Everywhere I saw a jungle,
A jungle which I had not noticed before.
Perhaps more selfish turn I have,
Realize that angels don't come to selfish.

Why had humans broken their bond with nature?
Why had he turn from beautiful angels?
Tell me when he started to lose his way?
Since when he lost his altruism better than angels?

Note : I use angels for many things here . It is used in figurative sense. Same conditions of copyright apply here as in earlier poems of mine. These poems can be use in books without my permission.

Good one luke :-)

I use a different style here.

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

I use a different style here.

I have noticed it :-)

Nice Poems Luke
Keep it up