India Broadband Forum

Luke Skywalker

In this thread I will be writing poems & created by me. Also I might create a story in future also.

My First Poem:

Paths

Paths I have taken in time long gone,
Paths of mine have brought knowledge of their own.

Will this journey finish before I end,
Will I get what is my aim & ends.

Bringing seclusion these paths to me have,
Bringing serenity these to me also have.

Sometime they bring unfathomable happiness,
Sometime they bring unfathomable sadness.

Seen the other paths that I not took I have,
Seen the other people on these paths I have.

Made me knowledgeable they have,
Made me ignorant they also have.

O Paths ! Am I nearing your end ,
O Paths ! Satisfied will you till my end?

O Creator ! Let me be firm on these paths,
O Creator ! Let me succeed on these paths.

To whom should I pass my gains,
To whom should I pass my pains.


-Luke Skywalker ( A pseudonym)

Note: I have said paths not path as one take many at one time not one.

This or part of this should not be reproduced with acknowledgement that it had been created by Luke Skywalker of IBF. It might have taken 30 minutes to create but I have to pass that emotional state which gave me inspiration to write it. You might not like how I have reached that state. It is too easy to steal other works as your own but when it happens to you , you will know how it feels. I will even sue you for that.

All criticism & praise are encouraged till now. I might change that rule later if I found out that people are trashing this thread.

Vikram09

Good poem Luke Skywalker
anyway you have tried to see the life in your way and also you have tried to put your philosophical angle about life in your poem which is good.
No criticism is needed in your poem because everyone has their own unique way to see each phenomena of the universe you saw the life in your own style that's enough also you have explained it fine way in poem.
You have open few new dimension of life paths that really superb

Luke Skywalker

Thanks. But I wanted to know about my writing style. & there is always room for improvement in style.

Vikram09

You can do it best by yourself
who am I (or we) will interfere in your imagination ?

Pri_dm

Its a good one.

saurav_k

reps + ... nice

mickey

Nice poem Luke.

Luke Skywalker

This poem is really written in quick & dirty style. Want to know genuinely how it is. I made it in 30 minutes without any appropriate inspiration.

My Fellows

Understanding my fellows started I have,
Understanding them fully I not have.
My fellows too are starting to understand me,
My fellows still not have understand me.

Hurt sometimes I have their feelings,
Hurt sometimes they my feelings.
Prejudices they have of me,
Prejudices that might not be true of me.

Mad I think I made them,
Sad sometime I made them.
Mad I am sometime seeing their comments,
Sad I am sometime seeing their comments.

Change they might see in me,
Change that is understanding in and of me.
Joys I get here which generally I don't
Enjoy my stay at one place which usually I don't.

Hurt I don't want to cause to any one.
Hurt I still have cause many one.
Want to remove I the ignorance at IBF,
Want to see I grow and rise IBF.

Apologize I always have for wrongs I commit,
Apologize for wrongs which I might commit.
I tell you all intentions are what matter always,
I tell you all intentions of mine have been good always.

Luke Skywalker ( A pseudonym)

Same copyright apply here also as in my previous poem.

Pri_dm

Nice one luke but i have noticed one thing you follow the aa rhythmic pattern the previous one was completely aa this one is aabb.


P.S. Pending rep

Luke Skywalker

I always try to fix a pattern & number of syllable in a line. But achieving pattern is easier than number of words.

Pri_dm

Well one piece of advice though i am not good in poetry try not using a fixed pattern any word that comes out can be poetry with proper usage of words even if they are not in rhythmic form.

itsmemad

I'm a noob when it comes to poetry... Wots this aa & aabb?

I just have a suggestion for L.S.... Why don't you use the blog feature of the forum for your poems? I guess that will be a better option...

Luke Skywalker

That is a different style. It takes much practice & time. Will write in that sometime when I have more time. I made this one in break of 60 minutes in which I wrote 2 poems. One of 38 lines which is still unfinished.

Pri_dm

i see well will show you few of mine someday. Though i dont post my poetry anywhere except one place.

Luke Skywalker

My last syllable letter are fixed.
I think people visit threads more than blogs.

Also I don't know much about blog thing. My knowledge of computers in things not related to me is like Sherlock Holmes knowledge of other fields.

Sid

Nice Poem L.S.

meetdilip

You wrote them ?

just4kix

@luke, Kudos. Much promise in you, I see.

However the second poem is a bit of an alliteration.

Luke Skywalker

Yes.
That's why I say it Quick & dirty style.

Dragon

Good attempts Luke

I am too novice to comment