India Broadband Forum

M_J_82

Hi,

To make it short, I'm not Indian. Anyone could help enlightening me on the question how serious you have to take it, when an Indian guy is flirting with you? How do these things work in India?

Cheers
M_J

smoothvibes

can you put up your question once again please, i never heard anything like serious flirting

If guy is flirting then obviously he is looking for his own joy and someone to date. If you are looking for a long time relationship then its better to check him out for few dates before getting in to relation.
otherwise if you are just looking for some time pass date dating then go for it

M_J_82

Don't know if you can call that flirting, more like being in contact with that person, he talks to you very nicely promising you loads of things... and then doesn't fulfill them... Normal?
Not quite sure how to explain what I mean. Is it clear?

Apart from the fact that I had the impression that quite a lot of guys were nearly "running after me", more than I'm used to from other parts of the world.

panchabhut

quite normal reaction in India if you happen to be a single young foreign female with fair skin.

M_J_82

Eurasian but they don't mean it really serious, do they? Or is this the normal way to express feelings?

panchabhut

In case of most of them, they are just following the conditioned belief that foreign girls are "easy".

M_J_82

"Easy" in what sense?

smoothvibes

I disagree
Please don't talk about an individual, talk about the community after keeping law of average in mind. May be such people are available but everyone is not same.

smoothvibes

its not visible coz its already been deleted, now don't put it in quotes.

just4kix

Note that Indians are very straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc. Boys and girls do not mix socially in India as much as in the west. Things are changing but there is still an "old fashioned" idea about the whole gammut.

Even friendly touching is rare between boys and girls, let alone a peck on the cheek. Any behaviour like that and Indians do assume the wrong meaning. A girl casually taking a guy's arm will make the guy think that there is "more to come". And an Indian girl will be quite uncomfortable with similar behaviour from guys.

Also books, fiction, novels, movies, TV soaps, etc. have created the impression that flirting, dating (and sex) is just part of the normal life and very casual, no wooing involved, one-night stands, etc. This is not the case, I know. But just like, many people in west believe that India is a people of snake charmers and fakirs sleeping on a bed of nails, this is the perception. Did you know that an American asked me "how many tigers were present (in the wild) in the city where I lived?" - and he was not jesting.

__________________

M_J_82

Could you explain this a bit more detailed please?

Note that Indians are very straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Boys and girls do not mix socially in India as much as in the west. Things are changing but there is still an "old fashioned" idea about the whole gammut.

Erm, American can be fools, especially when it comes to knowledge of other countries. I experienced that myself...

just4kix

OK.

In India, the girls are brought up with lot of protection. They are not allowed to mix freely with the boys. Guys expect their brides to be virgins. India is a country where marriages are arranged. A girl who has pre-marital sex is considered promiscuous. In deep India, such a behaviour will lead to "most unfortunate" results. Girls are thus "protected" from guys.

Outlook is slowly changing in urban India.

Is it good or bad? I am not going into that debate.

M_J_82

I do know that marriages are arranged, but I've heard that it's not everywhere the case. I can't believe that all of you guys want your brides to be virgins...

What does that mean "mix freely with the boys"? Still couldn't get the idea of straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Sorry... I'm just interested

just4kix

Things are changing - today many boys/girls decide their own partners. Live-in relationships are also commonly heard in cities. But in rural India that is not the case.

In India, boys and girls do not mix, as a general rule. I am not talking about school/college - I mean socially. I cannot explain more clearly, sorry.

And girls having relationships with boys before marriage is completely frowned upon to the extreme. That is what I meant by "straight laced". No dating, kissing, smooching, 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base or Home runs, before marriage.

rajan1310

^^ basically guys dont spend time with girls that often (but thats changing).

guys hangout with guys and girls stay with their own group. not much interaction.

even when there is, people start thinking too much and blow it out of proportion ...

lol never seen anything like that

M_J_82

Ok, I think I start getting the idea of it

So I got the "special treatment" for foreigners then? Foreign girls are "easy" (or easier) to get? Was that what you wanted to say?

On my last day in Mumbai I went to a disco, a friend of mine (not Indian, but a guy), an Indian friend and other friends of the latter... I felt a bit strange as they rarely talked to me, although they knew that my friend and I weren't a couple.

panchabhut

In India, even if a boy and a girl are emotionally involved for two/three years, they are not supposed to get physically involved till they get married. (at least thats what the society expects from them). But such social norms are not there in western countries.

rajan1310

^^ Trends are changing

panchabhut

only in the Metros.

just4kix

Indians are not comfortable when dealing with the opposite sex. That is all.

And about "being easy": As I said, that is a perception.