Thread: Flirting the Indian way...

Hi,

To make it short, I'm not Indian. Anyone could help enlightening me on the question how serious you have to take it, when an Indian guy is flirting with you? How do these things work in India?

Cheers
M_J

can you put up your question once again please, i never heard anything like serious flirting

If guy is flirting then obviously he is looking for his own joy and someone to date. If you are looking for a long time relationship then its better to check him out for few dates before getting in to relation.
otherwise if you are just looking for some time pass date dating then go for it :thumbup1:

Don't know if you can call that flirting, more like being in contact with that person, he talks to you very nicely promising you loads of things... and then doesn't fulfill them... Normal?
Not quite sure how to explain what I mean. Is it clear?

Apart from the fact that I had the impression that quite a lot of guys were nearly "running after me", more than I'm used to from other parts of the world.

Originally Posted by M_J_82

Apart from the fact that I had the impression that quite a lot of guys were nearly "running after me", more than I'm used to from other parts of the world.

quite normal reaction in India if you happen to be a single young foreign female with fair skin.

Eurasian but they don't mean it really serious, do they? Or is this the normal way to express feelings?

In case of most of them, they are just following the conditioned belief that foreign girls are "easy".

"Easy" in what sense?

Originally Posted by panchabhut

In case of most of them, they are just following the conditioned belief that foreign girls are "easy".

I disagree
Please don't talk about an individual, talk about the community after keeping law of average in mind. May be such people are available but everyone is not same.

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

why is my answer not visible?

You can see this in spy.

its not visible coz its already been deleted, now don't put it in quotes.

Originally Posted by M_J_82

"Easy" in what sense?

Note that Indians are very straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc. Boys and girls do not mix socially in India as much as in the west. Things are changing but there is still an "old fashioned" idea about the whole gammut.

Even friendly touching is rare between boys and girls, let alone a peck on the cheek. Any behaviour like that and Indians do assume the wrong meaning. A girl casually taking a guy's arm will make the guy think that there is "more to come". And an Indian girl will be quite uncomfortable with similar behaviour from guys.

Also books, fiction, novels, movies, TV soaps, etc. have created the impression that flirting, dating (and sex) is just part of the normal life and very casual, no wooing involved, one-night stands, etc. This is not the case, I know. But just like, many people in west believe that India is a people of snake charmers and fakirs sleeping on a bed of nails, this is the perception. Did you know that an American asked me "how many tigers were present (in the wild) in the city where I lived?" - and he was not jesting.

Could you explain this a bit more detailed please?

Note that Indians are very straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Boys and girls do not mix socially in India as much as in the west. Things are changing but there is still an "old fashioned" idea about the whole gammut.

Erm, American can be fools, especially when it comes to knowledge of other countries. I experienced that myself...

Originally Posted by M_J_82

Could you explain this a bit more detailed please?

Note that Indians are very straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Boys and girls do not mix socially in India as much as in the west. Things are changing but there is still an "old fashioned" idea about the whole gammut.

Erm, American can be fools, especially when it comes to knowledge of other countries. I experienced that myself...

OK.

In India, the girls are brought up with lot of protection. They are not allowed to mix freely with the boys. Guys expect their brides to be virgins. India is a country where marriages are arranged. A girl who has pre-marital sex is considered promiscuous. In deep India, such a behaviour will lead to "most unfortunate" results. Girls are thus "protected" from guys.

Outlook is slowly changing in urban India.

Is it good or bad? I am not going into that debate.

I do know that marriages are arranged, but I've heard that it's not everywhere the case. I can't believe that all of you guys want your brides to be virgins...

What does that mean "mix freely with the boys"? Still couldn't get the idea of straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Sorry... I'm just interested

Originally Posted by M_J_82

I do know that marriages are arranged, but I've heard that it's not everywhere the case. I can't believe that all of you guys want your brides to be virgins...

What does that mean "mix freely with the boys"? Still couldn't get the idea of straight laced in the matter of girl-boy relationship, dating, sex, etc.

Sorry... I'm just interested

Things are changing - today many boys/girls decide their own partners. Live-in relationships are also commonly heard in cities. But in rural India that is not the case.

In India, boys and girls do not mix, as a general rule. I am not talking about school/college - I mean socially. I cannot explain more clearly, sorry.

And girls having relationships with boys before marriage is completely frowned upon to the extreme. That is what I meant by "straight laced". No dating, kissing, smooching, 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base or Home runs, before marriage.

^^ basically guys dont spend time with girls that often (but thats changing).

guys hangout with guys and girls stay with their own group. not much interaction.

even when there is, people start thinking too much and blow it out of proportion ...

Originally Posted by just4kix

, 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base or Home runs, before marriage.

lol never seen anything like that

Ok, I think I start getting the idea of it

So I got the "special treatment" for foreigners then? Foreign girls are "easy" (or easier) to get? Was that what you wanted to say?

On my last day in Mumbai I went to a disco, a friend of mine (not Indian, but a guy), an Indian friend and other friends of the latter... I felt a bit strange as they rarely talked to me, although they knew that my friend and I weren't a couple.

In India, even if a boy and a girl are emotionally involved for two/three years, they are not supposed to get physically involved till they get married. (at least thats what the society expects from them). But such social norms are not there in western countries.

^^ Trends are changing

only in the Metros.

Originally Posted by M_J_82

Ok, I think I start getting the idea of it

So I got the "special treatment" for foreigners then? Foreign girls are "easy" (or easier) to get? Was that what you wanted to say?

On my last day in Mumbai I went to a disco, a friend of mine (not Indian, but a guy), an Indian friend and other friends of the latter... I felt a bit strange as they rarely talked to me, although they knew that my friend and I weren't a couple.

Indians are not comfortable when dealing with the opposite sex. That is all.

And about "being easy": As I said, that is a perception.

Originally Posted by just4kix

Indians are not comfortable when dealing with the opposite sex. That is all.

And about "being easy": As I said, that is a perception.

lets say Most of the Indians are not comfortable when dealing with the opposite sex. I am also Indian and never feel that way

Thanks for your explanations. Sound as if I should return and experience it a bit on my own

Originally Posted by M_J_82

Apart from the fact that I had the impression that quite a lot of guys were nearly "running after me", more than I'm used to from other parts of the world.

You will defiantly find a lot of Indians going after girls, especially foreigners and they will try to flirt a lot. I mean if they had the chance they would just grab you, but other case if they cant do anything all they do is STARE, like they have never seen a girl before!

Flirting can be done in a wrong way by some, as I would say some do as they would generally interested in you and otherwise you know the obvious reasons!

I was waiting for your post preeti

This is correct that guys stare white girls like anything but why you are not talking about the other set of guys who just pass by without giving any damm to white/black/brown any race (here i am talking about some decent guys)

I think if we put up the bad side of our society then showing the other better part also is our duty.

Erm, I must say I attracted the views of everybody, women, men, kids... but I didn't find it as uncomfortable as being stared at by Latinamerican men... In contrast to Latinamericans, Indians still have kind of respect in that sense.