Thread: Arranged versus love marriage

Originally Posted by lovelyMe

This is true admin ...
All those who mentioned "both are okey" seem to be married twice and preferable the first one being arranged and then love.
To me ... still got to try Love marriage.
Btw ne one has seen that Tea company ad where a question is put to a grandma whether her's was a arranged marriage or love and she answers love... ??

Yeh i seen the ad its good!

Well to be honest this love marriage and arranged marriage sometimes i think is just a name, life is what you make it!
There are equal amounts of love and arranged marriages which are successful.

Originally Posted by lovelyMe

Btw ne one has seen that Tea company ad where a question is put to a grandma whether her's was a arranged marriage or love and she answers love... ??

U r probably quite good at citing or recalling related examples... keep it up!! :14:

Originally Posted by preeti_20

yeh i seen the ad its good!

Well to be honest this love marriage and arranged marriage sometimes i think is just a name, life is what you make it!
There are equal amounts of love and arranged marriages which are successful.

Originally Posted by itsmemad

u r probably quite good at citing or recalling related examples... Keep it up!! :14:

ekjactly !!

Ms Padma y dont you open up a new topic just like this one?


This one's getting saturated ......

no this is a good topic and still far to go!

Originally Posted by Alexina

very true..
i dont think i could totally change to adjust for a week forget a whole lifetime.

but then i say my parents generation did a lot of adjustin for marraiges sake..hats off to them.

the current generation is too screwd up, so its impossible for us to exhibit such patience.

One thing we have to take into mind is that at those times that women were brought up and told to adapt, where as girls these days are not really grown up to this and more over women are more independent, before they were only dependent on the husband and his family and there was no such thing as divorce really.

Originally Posted by lovelyMe

This is true admin ...
All those who mentioned "both are okey" seem to be married twice and preferable the first one being arranged and then love.
To me ... still got to try Love marriage.
Btw ne one has seen that Tea company ad where a question is put to a grandma whether her's was a arranged marriage or love and she answers love... ??

Im not married but i still think both marriages, sometimes the views that we say are reflected from the way we have grown up, what we have seen in families, how they are, the upbringing, and the society that we live in.........which all adds up to our thinking and behavior.

Originally Posted by smoothvibes

same here arranged marriage and this compromise is really very sick idea for the whole life. One can compromise for a week or so but for the whole life hmy:
a Big
NO :ninja:

What makes you think that arranged marriage is a compromise for life and love marriage is not.

Remember, love happens at a young age (mostly), love is blind, passion overpowers reason, etc.

So there are never guarantees. Anyway, I digress.

You also have to take into consideration that on according to research its been said that arranged marriages last longer and are successful, i have nothing against love marriages but its something which has been said.

And the people who generally say that they cant do arranged marriages are the ones who don't know how to compromise even a little bit and don't really know how to care or understand others..........i fully believe that arranged marriages and love marriages are both successful and can lead to happy families.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

You also have to take into consideration that on according to research its been said that arranged marriages last longer and are successful, i have nothing against love marriages but its something which has been said.

And the people who generally say that they cant do arranged marriages are the ones who don't know how to compromise even a little bit and don't really know how to care or understand others..........i fully believe that arranged marriages and love marriages are both successful and can lead to happy families.

preeti why you always speak against me

j4x here i said this coz i have seen some arranged marriages where people find really hard to digest the fact that they got married to a strange person.

Most recent thing which i remember is... my friend's girlfriend got married to someone in chandigarh and came back to her parents home just after one month of marriage as she was not happy there and now planing to marry this guy... so whats the harm in getting married on first place.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

You also have to take into consideration that on according to research its been said that arranged marriages last longer and are successful, i have nothing against love marriages but its something which has been said.

And the people who generally say that they cant do arranged marriages are the ones who don't know how to compromise even a little bit and don't really know how to care or understand others..........i fully believe that arranged marriages and love marriages are both successful and can lead to happy families.

i beg to differ ....A research also says that Domestic violence against women happen inside arranged marriages more than Love marriage ....source -THE HINDU newspaper...

I think it got a lot of attention in Britain ...Even the govt intervened ! !

Arranged marriage dont break cause women go thru hell to make it last...

And also cause the marriage is overwhelmingly supported by parents and society ..they do everything they possibly could to keep it together....

The notion that most Love marriage break is something intro ed by hollywood

And you also have to take into account the fact that nowadays our generation is much more smarter ....if we can make big career decisions , whats the problem in choosing a life partner? ..... Both r equally difficult and important ?

Well this is my take on this issue....

Eddy you are my true friend... :17:
cheers mate :14:

Originally Posted by ShAdOwCoN

i beg to differ ....A research also says that Domestic violence against women happen inside arranged marriages more than Love marriage ....source -THE HINDU newspaper...

I think it got a lot of attention in Britain ...Even the govt intervened ! !

Arranged marriage dont break cause women go thru hell to make it last...

And also cause the marriage is overwhelmingly supported by parents and society ..they do everything they possibly could to keep it together....

The notion that most Love marriage break is something intro ed by hollywood

And you also have to take into account the fact that nowadays our generation is much more smarter ....if we can make big career decisions , whats the problem in choosing a life partner? ..... Both r equally difficult and important ?

Well this is my take on this issue....

yes as you mentioned that there is a lot of domestic violence in arranged marriages as well as love marriages but more in arranged marriages, but its still there in both marriages isnt it. Sometimes in a love marriage a women does a lot to make the marriage work, and the fact is love marriages are as important as arranged marriages...........the difference with love marriage is that there is no one to blame for the marriage and therefore the journey ends there when there are differences, people in the love marriage tend to think the only way out is separation.
Although i have said all this i still think its really depends on a person on how they are, how committed they are to their relationship and more over how the understanding between the couple is, because at the end of the day its up to the husband and wife to settle things out, and if one cant do it the other should try.


On the other hand another topic domestic violence, well i clearly think any women who suffers from domestic violence whether love or arranged marriage should leave her husband, why go she go through the pain and violence, it happens because the man is more dominant and a women finds it hard to hit back, but its easier to leave the man and at least have a peaceful and violent free life. No one should go through domestic violence.

Originally Posted by ShAdOwCoN

I think it got a lot of attention in Britain ...Even the govt intervened ! !

No it was not against arranged marriages... the government intervened against forced marriages not arranged marriages.

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

yes as you mentioned that there is a lot of domestic violence in arranged marriages as well as love marriages but more in arranged marriages, but its still there in both marriages isnt it. Sometimes in a love marriage a women does a lot to make the marriage work, and the fact is love marriages are as important as arranged marriages...........the difference with love marriage is that there is no one to blame for the marriage and therefore the journey ends there when there are difference and those people find it easy to move on.

On the other hand another topic domestic violence, well i clearly think any women who suffers from domestic violence whether love or arranged marriage should leave her husband, why go she go through the pain and violence, it happens because the man is more dominant and a women finds it hard to hit back, but its easier to leave the man and at least have a peaceful and violent free life.

Some women r now better at defending them.. 1 of ma friend is a black-belt in taekwondo... I bet her husband wud never dare to hit her....

:45:

thats true it was against forced marriages as there are many parents who force their daughters in to marriage without their will and knowledge in some cases.

Originally Posted by itsmemad

Some women r now better at defending them.. 1 of ma friend is a black-belt in taekwondo... I bet her husband wud never dare to hit her....

:45:

its good that women are good at defending themselves, and it should be encouraged, but there are some women who cant even do that and just take the violence and all they can do is get hurt and cry and there is no one to help them.........which is really sad!

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

thats true it was against forced marriages as there are many parents who force their daughters in to marriage without their will and knowledge in some cases.

yes and this falls under arranged marriage category not under love marriage.
Now you need to agree Preeti

Ok maybe she cant hit back ......Why would she stay back ? thats because of fear ...fear of society stigmatizing her .... A women will have to face more unnecessary gossip behind her back ...and in arranged marriages its twice as difficult to get married a second time ..... This is the key reason ...But yes as you said ....The type of marriage itself is a big decision to take .....

But ofcourse there is another problem

You r well aware of the fact of 'Arranged marriage scams' i hope?

Thats y i personally think that love marriages give you a better chance at getting to know ur partner's personality and whether you can get along without much problem ....And that he/she is genuine

just4kicks like you said

Cost analysis
Risk analysis
And bail out plan


before getting into anything big It works not only in corporate Scenarios ......

But if you r smart you can make anything happen ...its upto you ...what you want and what you r confident about

there is a difference in arranged marriage and forced marriage.

With an arrange the girl and boy have a say, where as in forced marriages the irl or boy dont have any say at all.

Originally Posted by itsmemad

Some women r now better at defending them.. 1 of ma friend is a black-belt in taekwondo... I bet her husband wud never dare to hit her....

:45:

Did i hear taekwondo ?
Look at my Avatar pic
<----------- Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i dont get it?

ignore my previous post about grrr...

Three movies just finished...My movie collection is now around 1100... Have to add a couple more... then I'm off to sleep... ShadowCon..I'll prepare my list of movies soon... & post it... Ur music collection is nice...Atlast, therez something I found in ya which I love... neway its still GOODBYE to u...

& G'night to others...

P.S.- I do have a sense of humour..

whats that got to do with this thread? i think you really are mad!

Can i say LOL again :laugh:

LOLZ

Right...I sudnt have hijacked ur thread.. but thot to post...cuz every1 was sittin here... neways.. my apologies....
g'night..

Originally Posted by itsmemad

three movies just finished...my movie collection is now around 1100... have to add a couple more... Then i'm off to sleep... Shadowcon..i'll prepare my list of movies soon... & post it... Ur music collection is nice...atlast, therez something i found in ya which i love... Neway its still goodbye to u...:d

& g'night to others...

p.s.- i do have a sense of humour..

oh !
I watch a lot of movies but mostly only in theaters ....Dont have a coll ...we ll see

Originally Posted by Preeti_20

whats that got to do with this thread? i think you really are mad!

What can you expect from itsmeMAD ??