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itsmemad

Also known as infidelity, unfaithful, cheating, adultery, relationship outside marriage, I guess, Extra Marital Affair is the most common problem that human kind is facing since the concept of marriage came into existence... Earlier people were apprehensive to talk about it... But things are changing for good... Now, people are quite open to talk about this curse which frequently destroys married couple lives...

Generally speaking, extra marital affairs can arise in three scenarios... First one is due to sexual incompatibility between the partners... In this case, one partner physical needs are greater than the other... And she/he ventures out of home to satisfy her/his needs... The affair can last from just one night to a state in which emotions also develop...

Second case crops up due to lack of emotional bonding & support in between
a married couple... A partner tries to find love outside home... Obviously, this is the case in which there is slim chance of restoration of the married couple's relation... And usually they end up in divorce...

Finally, in present corporate world the frequency of extra marital affairs is increasing day by day... Corrupt bosses ask for sexual favors and employees give themselves in, hoping that it will lead them to success quickly... Recent bollywood movie "Life in a Metro" depicted this scenario very well...

I invite all of you to share your thought on extra marital affairs... Some points you can take cue from are -

What are the causes of extra marital affair in ur opinion?
What can be done to avoid being unfaithful to ur spouse?
What are the signs that one can pick up to guess that partner is indulged in adultery?
What will you do if you find your partner is actually cheating on you?
What are the ill-effects of relationship outside marriage on a family which has children?
Can a relation survive infidelity?

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aashaka_gandhi

Nice topic ----Reality of LIFE...must say!

well acc to me....I definately agree that there are several reasons like this for an extra marital affair...!!!
There are many more reasons like one being not spending time with each other, extra possesiveness n no space, et al.....after which at a given point a person cant take....this is when thy start going out to frens or strangers n talk to em n its than started......!!!

Lots of ppl realise their mistakes.....n get back to their families...!!!! (I really wonder how cud thye accept it....definately if theres a genuine reason which i dont think so but u neva kno a persons circumstances)

Personally, I wudnt accept my partner if I find out that hez having an affair outside.... but I wud definately want to hear the reason b/h my partner going out...!!!!

itsmemad

Thanks..

What if you have children? Won't u give ur partner another chance just for the sake of kids?

Preeti_20

Good topic to start!

I think the causes are absolutely right which itsmemad has mentioned, and again understanding is an important factor in the relationship.
I personally think why go out of your married life and go for an affair. If your not happy with your married life, then talk about it to your partner, where things can get resolved!

There is no point in going out to make yourself happy like go out shopping, go out drinking, smoking, go out and stay with friends, as with this the couple gets even more distant, and the problem is still there. Talking is something which can stop the marital affair from happening! Unless the person who is having an affair is just a sleeze or someone who roams around with others and is in the habbit of it (whether its the man always looking for other women to flirt and be with, or its the women looking for other men to flirt or be with).

Having trust in your relationship is very important, i know sometimes people lie and their trust gets broken, but sometimes the lies are not to do with cheating or having affairs, its just general lies which they have said. But this should not be taken into suspecting them of having an affair. What the other partner should think is that why would they be with them if they wanted to be with someone else!

The signs which can be picked up if your partner is having an affair, is that your partner will not make any eye contact with you, be away from you, not be involved in what you say, and will always ask for their own privacy, privacy at times is ok, but when they want to be on their own a lot thats what you have to see. Whenever they get a phone call they will always go out of the room (it may be a case that the partner gets a new sim card which you will not be aware of), they will stay out of the home for long.

Tip: go through their phone, their computer and check to see if anything is there!

I dont know what i would do if i found out my partner was having an affair, i think it would depend on the situation, and what hes actually been up to!

Children are highly affected in this kind of situation, and if the couple end up separating and getting a divorce it mentally affects the children and their future, and children need both a father and a mother!

Well infidelity cant really survive a relationship, as it ruins the whole relationships, emotionally and physically. Trusting the partner becomes difficult, cracks come in the relationship and it has a bad affect overall!

I point i would like to make is, never judge or assume your partner is having an affair, as just assuming can also have bad affects on a relationship. Sometimes acts or the way of talking makes the other person think that their partner is having an affair! If you do think this ask them, talk about it!

Whether you trust your partner or not, but there should be trust that they would not cheat you or leave you!

And if you do think this just ask yourself, why is your partner with you if she wanted to be with someone else!

smoothvibes

Extra marital affair is not a good idea at all but still it is coming up in our society and most of the people just go for it without thinking about future or anything, i would like to show you the other side of this coin. I know most of the times my idea sounds very strange and people say that it is not practical enough but still we need to look to the positive side of coin.

There are few more reasons why people go in such relation, just think about those girls who stay here in India and there husband go outside India for job and all, let me use some open words here now, after marriage man comes in her life and for a few days gives the best taste and all but after few days he disappears from picture and don't come back for 6 months or for 1 year. In this case if a girl goes out or gets involved in any relation then do you think its wrong. Even she have some dreams and needs (yes it is a need and you can not deny this fact)
If a man marry's a girl and girl is not co-op enough then man looks out for a new joint then you may call it wrong but what if girl don't feel comfortable or is not willing to offer proper time and space (like there are so many girls who say that sex makes you look bad or fat) then do you really think man need to stick to that female only.

India is a big country we talk about freedom, we talk about global things, globalization and all we say western culture is so cool and good. Then why we feel bad to adopt everything from them.

Whenever we see Las Vegas, LA, CA we say wow... looks thats called life mann... so why we deny such facts why we behave like cowards and why we try to escape from such things.

Just sit in dark once and think what will you do if you find your dream man or dream girl calling you out for a date or for a happening nite. Be honest, i am bold and true enough to say loud and clear that yes i will grab that opportunity.

Ok people lets be bold and honest enough to accept our bad side too, we all are humans.

preeti are you sure that a person can go out to smoke coz till date you always speak against smoking and stuff.

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ϯ Peace...
May God Bless All The Victims Of 26-Nov-08.

Preeti_20

I just said things that people start or do! Yeh i still am against smoking, and i wasn't talking about myself in the post its about people in general!

I still hate people smoking! If i ever do get married, i hope my husband doest smoke!

farce

Smoothie,
this is nothing new or from a western culture.
1000 years back we had the same situation in Tamil Nadu
where Kovalan had an affair with Madhavi.
His wife Kannagi ended up burning the entire city of Madurai.

-F

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smoothvibes

are you sure about it preeti
coz this means that you hate me and admin both

thanks for the explanation farce

farce

you are welcome.

Actually Preeti doesn't hate you, she said she hates "people smoking"
NOT "smoking people"

-F

Preeti_20

Well i said it, i hate smokers! But when your not smoking you guys are ok, but when your smoking i hate you guys!